


The Good Fight

by Willameana2007



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2019-09-28 16:28:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 39,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17186426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willameana2007/pseuds/Willameana2007
Summary: AU Brian takes his children out to eat and meets someone who changes his life. (Yeah, sucky summary but I'm not great at them.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Queer as Folk or the characters.

Usually, Brian loved to spending time with his children. But today they were working on his last nerve. Three teenage boys were enough to make him go prematurely gray on a good day. When he asked the boys where they wanted to eat tonight he hoped for something a little classier. But no, here he was sitting in the middle of a pirate themed restaurant. If the damn waiter waved his fucking fake hook in his face again, he would make sure the man needed a real one.

It didn’t take long to figure out why his boys wanted to come to this hellhole. Gus, his oldest, kept making eyes at the cute little hostess. Even though he had to give the kid props he wished he wasn’t forced into having dinner where his waiter’s name is Pegleg Lou. Lou? Really? It didn’t even rhyme.

Brian didn’t usually take the boys out. They usually rotated who cooked dinner. But it had been a long day at work and he just didn’t feel like cooking. So instead, here they were, eating off plastic placemats.

“You three are never picking out where we eat again,” he growled at them.

Peter, his youngest, looked a little worried. The other two just seemed not to care.

When Brian was in college he made friends with a rich girl from a prominent family. Lindsay was smart, sweet and pretty. If he had been straight, he might have proposed on the spot, if he ever had wanted to marry. He did however experiment. That lead to the birth of his son Gus. After telling Lindsay he couldn’t marry her just because she was pregnant, she disappeared. He couldn’t do that, his mother trapped his father, something his father didn’t let a day go pass without reminding them.

Just after he graduated from college, he got himself his ‘fuckpad’ as Mikey called it. He fully admitted that he was an asshole at the time, because he didn’t think much about Lindsay and the baby.

That was until he was called to the hospital. Lindsay was on bedrest; they couldn’t control her blood pressure. Things had been looking up for a little while. She had been so happy he was there, but then everything went to hell. They took the baby; Gus was born a month early. They were unable to save her.

Life continued, but now it involved a kid. Then when Gus was two, his sister and her husband had died in a car crash. The doctors had to deliver Peter by emergency C-section. That left him now the father of three kids. He had been surprised more than his mother that his sister left boys to him. He pushed for adoption before his dad could get his hands on the boys. He would be damned if he let another child grow up with the abuse they had. Brian had played nice while the adoption was still in process but as soon as it was clear, he cut off all communications with his parents.

So now he had two fifteen-year-olds and a thirteen-year-old.

“You’re not really mad are you, Dad?” Peter asked, staring down at his drink.

“Pegleg Lou just scratched his ass with his fake hook. I would say I’m not happy.”

The place was packed for such a horrendous looking place. He started to notice waiters putting new people at tables already occupied. What the hell was that about?

Pegleg decided to show up at that moment. Brian knew what he would ask as soon as he opened his mouth.

“Gentlemen, per The Plank’s custom. When all our tables fill, instead of having more guests wait, we place guests with already seated guests.”

“No,” Brian snapped. There was no way he was going to eat with some loser that chose this place.

“I’m sorry sir, this is how The Plank works.” Fucking Pegleg Lou.

“It’s okay, Dad. We can leave,” Peter said sadly.

Sighing. “No, you haven’t gotten your food yet. There are only two seats; so, it’ll probably just be an old senile couple who don’t even know where they are.”

Pegleg Lou was leading a young blond man and a little girl to the table. The girl was wearing a pirate hat, red stripped shirt and black pants with fringe. She also had an eye patch over her left eye and a fake parrot on her shoulder. The man was dressed similarly, except no parrot or hat. The man had long blond hair that was pulled back in tie. The girl’s hair was blonde like his but had blue and pink strips in it.

The only free seats at the table was one between him and Peter. The other between John and Peter. Seeing that the girl was young, maybe four Brian stood up and took the seat between John and Peter.

“Thank you,” the man said, putting the booster seat he was carrying in the chair.

“Ahoy, mateys!” the girl said with what Brian guessed was an attempt of pirate’s voice.

“Ahoy,” Peter said, playing along. Brian caught John and Gus rolling their eyes. He was thankful he stopped his own eye roll.

Before Pegleg Lou even asked what they wanted, the blond man spoke up. “Our usuals, Lou.”

“Right, coming up.”

“Wait? Why didn’t you get his hook shoved in your face?” Brian asked, a little perturbed.

“Because he knows I’ll break it off if he does that.”

“I’m Nanette,” the little girl said, answering a question no one asked.

“I’m Peter.” Of course, he would play along, he was the sensitive one.

“I’m Justin,” the blond man said.

“Brian,” he said. After a minute when his older two were still silent he decided to introduce them. “And those two are Gus and John.”

“Are you their daddy?” Nanette asked.

“Yes,” he said, wishing his water was vodka.

“This is my daddy. Where’s their mommy?”

“Nanette! We don’t ask personal questions like that,” Justin admonished. “I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine.” She wasn’t the first to ever ask the question.

“I don’t have a mommy. I had two daddies.”

The boys looked surprised by the little girl’s words, not Brian though. He spotted it as soon as the man saw him. Brian knew he looked good, he was glad even with three almost grown boys he was still desirable.

“Where’s your other dad?” Peter asked. Brian had caught the she ‘had’ two daddies.

“He died. He’s in Lum Baba. Right, Daddy?”

Brian watched Justin smile sadly. “Olam Ha-Ba, and yes.”

“What’s that?” John asked. He was Brian’s most curious one. He had been asking questions non-stop since he could talk.

“The Jewish Afterlife,” Justin said.

“So what do you do, Justin?” Brian asked. It was supposed to be a fun night, that didn’t include on talking about dead family members. His boys didn’t remember their mothers’, but it still upset them they never got to know them.

“I’m an artist but that doesn’t really pay the bills. So, until it does I work in an insurance office.”

That sounded terribly dull to Brian. He loved creating things, mostly money. He was good at his job, he wouldn’t like to do anything else. Only thing was he wanted to work for himself, he was tired of listening to Gardner Vance.

Pegleg picked that moment to show up with another server. They placed everyone’s plate down at the same time. He thought that was a little rude since they had been there longer than Justin and Nanette.

“Thank you, Matey,” Nanette said brightly.

“Anytime, dollface,” Pegleg said before leaving again.

“Why doesn’t he use the stupid voice with you?”

“Lou? I guess because we come in here so often.”

“Yeah, what’s with the outfits?” he couldn’t help but ask.

He thought the man would smile and make a joke, that didn’t happen. A pensive look appeared before slipping away.

“This is what she wants to do when she gets sad. So, this is what we do. We dress up in our clothes and come down here to eat. It was Ethan’s favorite place to bring her, sometimes he would play the fiddle they keep in the back. People would sit around and watch him for hours. It was funny, a classically trained violinist playing sea shanties.”

There wasn’t much else to say after that. They all ate quietly, except for Nanette who would ask the occasional question. Once they were finishing the hostess that Gus had been fawning over started walking to them.

Brian hated to break it to his son but that girl wasn’t going to look twice at him. For one thing the girl had to be at least twenty, for another she was a lesbian. There was a chance she was bi, but he had only seen her check out women, and by the looks of it she was with one of the other waitresses.

“How’s my favorite girl?” she asked Nanette.

“I’m so good. Can I?”

Brian was confused, he didn’t know what they were talking about.

“Is your Dad okay with it?” the woman asked.

Nanette turned in her chair to look at her dad. “Please,” she begged.

“Fine, but no more than twice.”

“Yay.”

“What’s going on?” Gus asked. His face reddening some when the woman looked at him.

“We have a rock climbing wall on the other side of the restaurant. Kids love to climb it. Do you want to try?” she asked brightly.

His too cool son started to scowl at her. She had just referred to him as a kid when he was ready to profess his undying love. Being a teenager sucked.

“Can I go, Dad?” Peter asked.

“Sure, don’t break your head open.”

“Thanks, Dad.” Peter got up and followed the woman and Nanette.

“Wanna go watch Peter cry at the top?” John asked Gus.

“Yeah, we can torture him for months about it,” Gus said laughing.

When they got up and left Brian didn’t attempt to stop them.

“You’re just going to let them pick on him?” Justin asked.

Brian shrugged. “All they’re going to do is make fools of themselves in front of a pretty girl. If they have to learn the hard way not to be little douchebags so be it.”

Justin laughed. “This doesn’t really look like your scene. How did you get talked into coming?”

“Gus has a crush on the hostess. She’s an older sister of one of his friends.”

“She’s in a very committed relationship.”

“With the server over there?” he asked.

“How did you guess?”

“She’s been looking at her rack all night.”

“What can I say, Karen is a breast girl.”

“How long have you been coming here?” It sounded like he knew everyone very well.

“This was Tara’s favorite place when she was pregnant. She was Ethan’s best friend and our surrogate. So, we came at least once or twice a month her whole pregnancy.”

“What happened if you don’t mind me asking?” He couldn’t help it, he wanted to know more about the blond with sparkling blue eyes.

“A year ago, Ethan got a contract that made a tour mandatory. There was a freak accident at the hotel he was in. He died when the elevator he was in, fell ten floors. We didn’t just lose Ethan, We lost Mika too.”

“Who’s Mika?”

“Our son.”

“What?”

“Tara was impregnated with fertilized eggs that some fathered by me, some Ethan. Mika looked just like Ethan, there was no denying him. Same with Nanette looking like me. Anyway, once Ethan died Tara took me to court to get both kids. They were already three, they didn’t even know her because she had been touring for two and a half years. We’re still fighting it out. I had to hand Mika over today with him screaming and crying for me to take him home with us. She gets them alternating weeks. I don’t understand it. I wish if she wanted to get to know them at least she would take both. Then they wouldn’t feel so alone.”

“Who’s your lawyer?”

“He’s not very good but I can’t afford much. His name is Leland Cross.”

“My friend Michael just went to court about his adopted son. His lawyer was pretty scary. I bet she’d take your case.” There was something he didn’t particularly like about Melanie Marcus but she was good at her job.

“Really?” There was hope in his eyes, and a smile that took Brian’s breath away.

“Really.”


	2. The Big Q

Brian was in middle of talking about Justin’s work when Gus and John came back. Both boys looked sullen and annoyed. He bit back a laugh when Justin asked them about Karen, the hostess. Both boys just glared at Justin, not answering. A few minutes later a smiling Peter came back carrying Nanette who was laughing hard in his arms.

“What’s so funny?” Justin asked, smiling at the two.

“I can’t say, I promised I wouldn’t,” Peter said, setting Nanette down.

“I didn’t. They had to get Big Bob get them down because they were too scared,” Nanette said, putting her hand over her mouth, giggling.

“Nanny, that’s not nice. You wouldn’t want anyone laughing at you, would you?” Justin said, his tone firm.

She stopped laughing and looked chastised. “No, Daddy. I wouldn’t.” She looked at Gus and John. “I’m sorry you got scared. I didn’t mean to laugh and hurt your feelings. Do you want a hug?”

John’s eyes narrowed and opened his mouth. That was when Brian glared at both of his fifteen-year olds, daring them to hurt a little girl’s feelings. John shook his head and went about picking at the table cloth.

Pegleg Lou made his way over handing Brian his check and doing the same to Justin.

“I’ll get them both,” Brian said, taking Justin’s check out of his hand.

“Why?” Justin asked, a look of confusion on his face.

“You made this night bearable. Trust me, that’s no easy feat in a place like this. Anyway, you’ll need to save your money to hire Mel.”

“Do you really think she’ll take my case?”

“She’s a ball-buster but has a need to see kids with the family that has their best interest at heart.”

Brian paid the bills and gave Justin his card. He jotted down his cell phone number along with Mel’s name and number. He just hoped she treated the man right. Anyone could see how much he loved this little girl and missed his other child. He couldn’t imagine having to give up any of his boys. As annoying, smelly and loud they were, they were his and he would fight to the death for them. It was a trait he picked up from his pseudo-mom, Debbie Novotny.

“Thank you,” Justin said, taking the card.

“Call…if you need anything.”

On the way home, he let his mind drift to the young blond man. It wasn’t like he had been celibate over the last fifteen years, but he didn’t fuck around as much as he did prior having three kids. Once a year Deb takes the boys for the week and he goes to Ibiza, it’s his way to stay sane. But there was something about the blond that called him to him. That was a scary thought. A long time ago he thought being in a relationship was the worst thing that could happen to him. But it’s funny what parenting alone could do to you. Sometimes when you had two throwing up and the third burning up with fever you just wished there was someone else to help.

“She totally had it bad for me,” Gus said from the passengers’ seat.

Brian rolled his eyes, teenagers were a whole different animal from the little boys who drew him pictures and begged to stay up and watch a movie with him. Now he was lucky to have them for a night without their noses in their phones. But the posturing was the worst. Gus thought he was God’s gift to girls, and none of Brian’s friends let it escape him how much his son is like him. John on the other hand is Gus’ Michael, except for the crush part. John is always pulling Gus out of trouble, physically if he must. Then there is his youngest, Peter, his baby. God, if him from sixteen years ago could hear him now he would kick his own ass. Peter was so much more sensitive than the other two. He worried too much also. If Brian worked too long at night, he would always get a text or call from Peter asking if he was alright. He blamed it all on Debbie. She had more input in raising Peter than Gus and John. Five years ago, he got sick. Testicular cancer. He wasn’t able to take care of himself much less his children. John went to stay with Em, Gus with Michael and Ben and Peter with Debbie and her boyfriend Carl.

They were only with them for a few months, but Debbie had rubbed off on Peter and made him a bit neurotic about worrying. He was only eight at the time, so he was very impressionable.

“Sh-she didn’t ha-have it bad for you,” Peter said, stuttering his words. It was a clear sign he was tired, being overly upset and overly tired both set off his stutter.

“Sh-shup u-up, Pi-picky P-peter,” Gus said, mocking his brother’s stutter.

“Stop, or you’ll find yourself grounded this weekend, meaning you won’t be going to Florida with Em and Drew,” he said sternly.

Drew had just gotten a job for the sports channel. He invited the boys to go with him to watch one of the playoff games. Gus and John had taken him up on the offer, but Peter had passed on it. He wasn’t really a fan of sports…of any kind of sports. He would rather sit in his room and draw. It worried him some that Peter didn’t even seem to have or want friends. But not as much as it worried him that he would have to bail Gus out of jail for his temper or having his house blow up one day because John wanted to experiment with chemicals.

The car got very quiet after that, now all he wanted to get home and give Mel a call. He wasn’t sure she would take Justin’s case but if he paid her what Justin couldn’t she might. He told himself it was for the little girl and her unseen brother, but it he knew it was for the piercing blue eyes that just called out for help.

 

 

 

Justin had just gotten Nanny to sleep when his phone rang. This was the first night he was without one of his children. Mika had cried and screamed when Tara took him. She said it would be too much this early to take both Nan and Mika. He didn’t understand that, they would feel safer with each other. This was also the first time they were separated from each other.

He looked at who was calling and saw it was Tara, snatching up his phone he answered.

“Tara? Is everything alright?”

There was a pause but finally Tara spoke, “Justin, I just got a call from my agent. Gregor Michaels wants to sign me to his label, that means I need to go to Los Angeles right away.”

His heart started thundering at the name. He wasn’t completely honest when he told Brian about his husband’s death. He did die in an elevator accident. But it was more than he said, it was neglect pure and simple. Ethan called him that morning telling him that he thought the hotel was on its last leg. He didn’t like the sound of the elevator, so he said he would be taking the stairs. Something didn’t feel right when they told him that Ethan died in the accident. Why would he be in the elevator after telling him how much it scared him? It didn’t make any sense to Justin, and now it seemed Tara would be signing with the same man who cared so little about Ethan’s life that he put him in a hotel that failed their last expectation.

“What does that mean?” he asked quietly. He had to play this game carefully with her. He didn’t trust her very much, he had lost all that after Ethan’s death. They had just fallen apart after Ethan died, and because Ethan didn’t want her to completely give up her rights to the kids, well…here they were. She was never meant to be a full or even part-time parent. She wanted to be the fun aunt from the beginning. In fact, she didn’t really like children.

“I need you to come and get Mika, I know I said I would have him all week but-

“I’m on my way,” he cut her off.

“I-oh, alright. I’ll see you in a little while.”

He hung up his phone and rushed to Daphne’s door. She had just gotten off a shift at the hospital, but he didn’t want to wake Nan.

“Daph,” he said, knocking on her door.

“GO AWAY!” she yelled.

Knowing she would want to know this, he opened the door and peeked his head in.

“I just need to let you know I’m going to pick up Mika and leaving Nanny here, she should sleep until I come back.”

She sat halfway up and looked at him. “Well, what are you waiting for, go get that boy.”

“Thanks,” he said before rushing to get his keys and leave.

He sped his way to Tara’s apartment, hoping that this meant she was giving up the custody suit. But after almost a year of this, he highly doubted it. When he was almost there his phone rang.

Thinking it was Daphne or Tara, he answered without looking.

“Hello,” he said, turning onto the main road.

“Mr. Taylor?”

“Yes,” he said.

“Mr. Taylor, my name is Jeremy Knott.”

“I’m sorry, whatever you’re selling I’m not buying,” he said, sure this person was a telemarketer.

“I’m not selling anything. I have information about your late husband.”

Justin took his foot off the gas and pulled over, finding it hard to breath. He could handle talking about Ethan but still had issues when he was brought up out of the blue.

“What information?” he asked, his voice raw.

“Mr. Taylor, I was having an affair with your husband.”

 

 

 

Two nights after Brian and the boys had dinner at pirate hell, he found himself considering going back. He hadn’t heard from Justin and even called Mel again, she hadn’t heard from him either. He really thought the blond wanted to get Mel as his attorney.

“Dad, I need poster board for my presentation,” Peter said, dragging him out of his thoughts.

“I have extras in my office,” he said, setting his laptop and keys down on the table.

“I looked, there wasn’t any left. I think Gus used the last to make his healthy body diorama.”

The last thing he wanted to do was go out again to the store. And this late at night the only place open would be the The Big Q, he really hated that place.

“Can’t this wait until tomorrow?”

“I guess, it really doesn’t matter anyway,” Peter said sadly.

“What’s the presentation for?”

“It’s not important. It’s just that I just found out about a summer program at PIFA, and the cut off is tomorrow. I’ve already made my portfolio, but they want a faux poster of a movie/book of our choice.”

Brian rolled his eyes and grabbed his keys, the kid never asked for anything. If he wanted this damn poster board, he would have it. “Come on, I’ll drive, you run in the Big Q and get it.”

Peter smiled and ran to put on his shoes.

“Dad are you going somewhere?” Gus stepped into the hallway.

“I’m taking your brother to the store to get poster board.”

“Awesome, I need to get some things from the store too.”

“Me too,” John added, showing up in the hallway also.

The night just got that much longer for him.

Now that all three were with him he would have to go into the store with them, if he didn’t anything could happen. He parked his car and walked in behind the three boys. Gus and John split off to parts unknown and he followed Peter to the arts and crafts section.

“But I want it,” a little boy cried loudly followed by wails.

“I told you no,” a strained, vaguely familiar voice said.

As he rounded the corner he recognized Justin. He looked more tired and haggard, nothing like the man from the restaurant. There was a boy laying flat on the ground kicking his feet. Looking around he saw Nanette standing next to the colored pencils, tears running down her face.

“Problem?” he asked.

Blue eyes shot up, surprise clear in them. “Brian?”

“Who else?”

Brian could tell Justin was on the edge of a breakdown. Not a mental one, a parental one. He needed to walk away and get a breath. He knew that Justin couldn’t do that but maybe if he would let Brian help.

“I’ve had my share of melt downs in store aisle, think I could help?”

Justin bit his lip. “It’s nothing.”

“Pick up your daughter and I’ll pick him up, we’ll walk around the store until he calms.”

He saw Justin wavering; he didn’t want to be a bother but needed someone. Brian was sure Justin could take care of it alone but why should he if he could help. Finally, Justin nodded and picked up Nanette.

Brian leaned down to the boy throwing a Gus-worthy fit, he got the boy’s attention.

“Mika, can I talk to you?” he asked firmly. Dark eyes looked at him warily, but the fresh tears stopped. “Your dad and sister are going to walk around the store with me. Would you like to go with us or stay here alone?” The boy had a look of panic. “That’s what I thought. Can I pick you up?” Some kids didn’t like strangers picking them up, but he was taking a chance. Finally, another nod. He tried not to smile too much hearing the relieved sigh from Justin.


	3. Kids and Coloring Books

Justin watched his son become enamored with Brian. After a few minutes of walking, Mika had stopped crying all together and started listening to Brian talk. It wasn’t like Brian was saying anything that interesting, just telling Mika about his own day and how he would have liked to throw a fit. Nanette giggle when he talked about his friend Ted, an accountant at his agency. Apparently, Brian and this Ted guy had to clean up a mess made by some others Vanguard. Brian had told Mika that he wanted to lay and the floor and kick and scream but that wouldn’t fix anything.

“Why were you so upset?” Brian asked as they started their second trip around the store.

“I wanted to get glitter, but Daddy said no,” he told him, his bottom lip sticking out. Ethan never pouted but he was sure if he did, it would look just like that.

“Why can’t you have glitter?” Brian asked, his eyes finding Justin, he was smirking as though he already knew why.

“’Because it gets everywhere, and we can’t mess up Aunt Daffy’s apartment.”

“Ah, that makes sense, is there something you can get that your Daddy would be alright with?” Brian asked. Justin didn’t think the tantum warranted a present but Mika’s whole face lit up, so who was he to say no.

“A coloring book?” he asked excitedly.

Justin held back the groan, there were things his son was great at, but coloring and drawing was not one. It wouldn’t be that bad, but he would demand his pictures go up on the fridge and get upset when he and Daphne couldn’t guess what the picture was of. He also didn’t have either his mother or father’s talent for the music. His talents would come out with time, but he wanted to be just like Justin and Ethan, it was heartbreaking sometimes.

“Well, Dad, can he have a coloring book?” Brian asked, still holding Mika.

“I guess I have to now,” he said, his voice tired.

“Can I have one too?” Nanette asked, just as excited as her brother.

“Sure,” he said. He had only come to the Big Q for some paints. They weren’t the best paints, but they were what he could afford.

They went to the aisle with the coloring books and let both pick out one each. He really didn’t need paints anyway.

“Dad, can I have this?”

Justin looked up to see one of Brian’s older boys. He couldn’t remember if it was Gus or John though. The teenager was holding a camera, one that was definitely out of Justin price range.

“I just bought you a new camera for your birthday, and it didn’t come from the Big Q either.” Distain for the store was clear in the older man’s tone.

Once upon a time he would have thought the same, growing up with the country club crowd. He had no such illusions in life anymore. In fact, he would probably be homeless if it wasn’t for Daphne. Every extra dime he made went to his attorney.

“Fine, I’m going to find John,” the boy huffed. Must mean he was Gus, Peter was smaller than the two.

“Teenagers,” Brian said, annoyed. “I don’t suggest getting one.”

Justin laughed. “I don’t think I have a choice.”

“Shame.”

“Daddy, I like this one. I want to color a picture for Gran and Pop,” Mika said.

“They would like that.”

Justin’s own parents wanted nothing to do with him or his children, but Ethan’s parents were very involved to an extent. They weren’t the type of grandparents that wanted their grandkids over every weekend or even close. Truthfully, they didn’t really like the kids wondering around their house, too scared they would break something. Justin loved them, they just weren’t touchy feely kind of people, and it only got worse after losing Ethan. Instead of grabbing onto their grandkids, they grabbed onto the idea of making Gregor and the hotel pay for their negligence. His parents didn’t want the money if they won any, it was already in writing whatever they got would go to the twins. That was fine with Justin, it felt like dirty money to him too.

A chill ran up his spine thinking about his late husband. They weren’t legally married, but it didn’t matter to him. They stood in front of their friends and some family and pledged to love one another and be faithful. Now he had doubts about how true those words had been. Two days ago, if you’d asked him if Ethan had been faithful, he would have told you one hundred percent yes. But then the call came from someone saying he was Ethan’s lover. He wasn’t even saying that they had a one-night stand, no, he said they had been together for two years.

There was something about the man’s claims that didn’t ring true though. He told Justin that they were together on Christmas last year. Ethan had gotten invited to play in Quebec, he left the day before Christmas Eve and was supposed to be gone all week. But Christmas morning, early before the kids even woke up he came home. He was running a fever, had a bad cough and looked like death warmed over. They found out later he had double pneumonia. They didn’t tell anyone he came back, and it was before Gregor signed him, so besides his agent and the people in Quebec, no one knew he came back. So it was impossible for Ethan to have spent Christmas with him, he was home sick in bed.

But this Jeremy Knott knew things about Ethan that no one else knew, private things. Not for the first time he wished Ethan was here to talk to, even if it was to yell at him.

Could he get over the betrayal of him cheating if it’s true? Maybe. Maybe not. But Ethan had been his sounding board since he was eighteen years old and brand new at PIFA. His first everything. What he wouldn’t give for Ethan to walk through the door, smiling about some piece he had finally mastered. Cheating or not, it wouldn’t have been the end of the world. He would rather break up or fight daily with Ethan than to visit him in a cemetery.

The cheating thing wasn’t the only bomb Jeremy Knott dropped on him two days ago. He said that Ethan hadn’t died in an elevator mishap, he committed suicide. Justin called him a liar right there, two things made it impossible. First, Ethan was too egotistical to do that. He wasn’t depressed and didn’t have any mental issues, he had been excited to be on the tour. The only uncertainty he heard from Ethan about anything was some of his accommodations, that hotel included, weren’t what he was promised. He knew not to expect the Ritz, but he thought safe places wasn’t too much to ask. The other reason he found Ethan killing himself impossible, he was inside an elevator that fell and none of its safety mechanisms engaged. There was no way Ethan could have done that. He had so many close calls leading up to his death it was almost like he was destined to die.

The first hotel was in a bad part of Berlin, he was mugged outside, thankfully not hurt. Second hotel, bad electrical work, it was a miracle he lived in that crappy apartment before and knew what to look for.

It was all such a mess and he didn’t know who to believe. A year ago, his biggest problem was to attend more art showings to get in with that society. Ever since he met Ethan his dreams had taken a backseat. Ethan was far from perfect, but he had doubts about him being the person Jeremy Knotts described over the phone. Something just felt very wrong, it was like he could almost put his finger on it+, but it kept moving.

After the books were bought and Brian had corralled his sons, they walked him to his car.

“What do you need to poster board for?” John asked Peter as they walked.

“I’m applying for the summer junior art program at PIFA,” Peter answered.

“Wow, I thought you had to be at least fourteen to apply,” he said as he buckled Nanette in her five-point harness seat.

“You have to be fourteen before the classes start, and I will be,” he said, he sounded so young.

“What’s the poster board for?”

“I have to make my own poster for a movie or book of my choice.”

“Who’s running the program?”

“Alton Davies.”

“Go old, very old. Whatever movie or book you pick start with the fifties or earlier. He has a soft spot for art deco, you work that into your poster and you’ve got a pretty good shot.”

“Really? Thanks.” The boy took out his pen and started writing on his hand.

“Isn’t that cheating?” Brian asked.

“No, not really. I have him a boost, but it’ll be his talent that will get him in or not.”

“Maybe you could give the guys in my art department a boost, they can’t find their asses with a chair.”

Justin laughed. Brian suddenly looked a little annoyed. “I thought you were going to call Melanie. You know I’ve called her twice now. It’s not a good experience the first time.”

“I was, but there have been somethings come up. I would love to hire her, but I can’t afford her. I looked her up, she’s one of the best family lawyers in Pittsburgh.”

“She said she would give you a discount. But if it’s not that important.”

He really did know how to go for the jugular. “Fine, I’ll call her tomorrow.”

He just nodded his head. “Call me afterwards.” Brian left no room for debate, Justin would have to call her tomorrow and call him after. He was very bossy.

 


	4. Dagger Meet Back

Justin sat in an uncomfortable chair in the reception area of the law firm. He had to get the kids from the sitter, he just hoped he wouldn’t be late. It wasn’t like Jean would charge him extra, but he didn’t like to take advantage of Daphne’s sister. A tall, sleek man came in and started to talk flirtingly with the receptionist. Justin paid attention to keep his mind off his jingling nerves.

Finally, a woman in a gray suit came out of a door and looked around. She saw him and headed straight for him. “Justin Taylor?”

“Yes, I take it you’re Melanie Marcus.”

“That’s right. Come to my office and we will talk. Brian only told me a little about your case.”

He stood, grabbing his messager bag that he had all the relevant paperwork in. People were milling around as they passed them. Most seemed to straighten up or hid when Ms. Marcus was coming down the hall. Clearly, she was all about work.

She took him to a large office with dark wood furniture.

“Please, take a seat.”

He sat on a comfortable looking leather and dark wood chair.

“Thank you for seeing me on such short notice.”

She waved him off. “It’s nothing. Brian made it seem like I needed to see you, or terrible things would happen. To you or me is up for debate. Alright, let’s start from the beginning. Why are you here today?”

“Long story short, I’m trying to keep custody of my kids.”

“Why don’t we lengthen that story out some. First, who is the biological father of your children?”

Justin hoped this wouldn’t be a problem. “Well, we’ve never had DNA tests run but I think I’m Nanette’s and we’ve always believed Mika was Ethan’s.”

“Well, if I do take your case we’re going to need a DNA test done, just to get everything on paper. What is your children’s relationship with their birth mother?”

“Not really any, she had been touring two and a half years before Ethan’s accident. After he died she stopped all contact with me until I got papers that she was suing me for custody six months ago.”

“You had no idea this was coming?”

“None. She’s never had anything to do with the kids. It was always Ethan she called for. She said she wanted to be the cool aunt but that never really happened.”

Ms. Marcus was writing down copious amounts of notes. “Before the suit had she had the children overnight or for say a weekend?”

“Never. They have never been out of my care before.”

“Brian said you were ordered to give alternate weekends for the twins, that they were separated?”

“Weeks not weekends. But yes.”

“That’s not right or ethical. Who was your lawyer?”

“Leland Cross.”

“He’s incompetent at best. Who was the judge?”

“Reinhart.”

“Fuck, you really did pick the short string, didn’t you? Alright. I’ll take your case pro bono.”

“Oh no, I can pay.” He didn’t know how he could afford her, Cross was more than he could afford.

“Every year lawyers are supposed to work a certain about of hours pro bono, don’t worry, you’re not putting me out. I would rather do this for you than someone my boss chooses. Did you bring the papers I asked for?”

Justin fumbled with the bag. “Yes, it’s all here.”

“Thank you. Leave it here with me. I’ll call you once I have my bearings. You said on the phone that Ms. Vann is in Los Angeles, when do you expect her back?”

“I’m not sure. Could be tomorrow could be a month, Tara’s not the most reliable person ever.”

“Alright, if she comes back demanding one or both children I want you to call me first. I’m going to try and get a new hearing.” She stood up and came from behind her desk. “It’s wonderful to met you and I hope to help you get your children where they belong.” She stuck out hand for a shake.

“I appreciate everything you’re doing for me.” He gripped her hand firmly.

“You’re welcome. One more thing, fire Mr. Cross as soon as you leave. Something is very off with him, even an incompetent lawyer wouldn’t have failed you this miserably. Don’t tell him anything but you won’t be needing his services anymore.”

“Alright.” He wasn’t sure why she was so desperate for him not to tell Cross he had hired another lawyer, but she knew best.

As he walked out the of the office his shoulders felt a little lighter. Leland Cross was costing him a fortune and he was terrible. Melanie Marcus was the best and she was taking his case for free. It was amazing. He would be able to save money now, buy things his kids needed. Everything seemed to be going right and it all started on the second to worse day of his life, the day he had to hand Mika over which was the day he met Brian.

 

 

* * *

 

“Thanks Mel, no I understand. Bye.”

Brian disconnected the call and let out a sigh. Justin had finally gone to see Melanie. Not only that, he had agreed to let her take his case. What Justin didn’t know was that Melanie wasn’t exactly taking his case as pro bono as he thought. That’s how it’s starting but she’s only allowed so many hours to work it by her boss. Brian had let her know that he would cover any overage. She had made it clear that even though he was paying, she would not divulge anything about Justin and his case to him. He respected that, even if she was bitchy about it.

Just as he was about to get back to work, his cell rung again.

“Kinney,” he answered after not recognizing the number.

“Brian?”

“Justin, I’m glad you called.” He was, now he wouldn’t have to do something unlike him and pester Mel to give him his number.

“You really didn’t give me much of a choice. I just wanted to let you know that I hired Ms. Marcus as my lawyer. Thank you so much for your help.”

“It wasn’t much.”

“It was to me. Well, thank you again.”

Knowing that Justin was seconds away from hanging up he did something unheard of to him. “Really it’s nothing but if you’d like to thank me, why don’t we go out.”

“Like a date?” Justin asked.

That wasn’t really what he had in mind but now that he thought about it, why not. “Sure.”

“Um...okay. When?”

“Well, I’ve got to go out of town this week, but I’ll be back next Thursday. How about next Friday?”

“Alright, that sounds great.”

On his way home, Brian picked up pizzas for the boys. He would be leaving early in the morning and needed to get some work done before bed. Ted was going to stay at the house while he was gone, the boys couldn’t be trusted alone.

The lights were off on the house when he arrived home. That wasn’t usual and made him suspicious. He parked his car in the garage and grabbed the pizzas before walking into the kitchen. Turning on the light, he nearly dropped the pizzas and his briefcase. There was a rat, calmly eating something off a plate on the floor.

“What the fuck?” he yelled. The rat gave him no notice.

“Shh Dad, you’re going to scare him.”

Brian looked up and in the darkened hallway was his youngest, sitting on the floor by the doorway.

“What the hell is going on? Do I need to call the exterminator?”

“No, Dad, no. This is Cray, he is Lucas’ pet rat. I said I would watch him while he was in Denver for his uncle’s funeral. I told you, remember?”

Brian remembered his son saying something about watching someone’s pet. “I thought he was supposed to stay in his cage.”

“He was but Gus and John thought it would be funny to let him out when I was in the shower and leave. At first, I thought they did something to him, but I could hear him. I turned off all the lights, so I could find him easier.”

That made no sense to Brian, but teenagers rarely made sense. “Where did your brothers go?”

“Some party. I didn’t really care enough to ask, wasn’t like they would invite me.”

Sometimes being a father sucked. He never gotten along with his sister but now, he wished she was back so John and Peter had their mother. He couldn’t imagine his life without them, but their happiness was so much more important than his own.

“Get the rat and put it up. We’ll eat dinner and watch a movie.”

“Don’t you have work to do before your trip?”

“Yeah, but that’s why there are laptops. Come on, I’ll even let you pick the movie and eat in front of the television.”

“Cool,” Peter said before scooping up the rat and taking it upstairs.

Brian was going to have to tell the boys they couldn’t go out while he was out of town. He didn’t want them to give Ted a heart attack.

Peter came down the stairs carrying a very familiar DVD box, Brian groaned. “Again?”

“We don’t have to,” his son said, his face falling.

“I like the movie, it’s just you always pick it because you know I like it. Isn’t there a movie you would like to watch?”

“I like this movie and you like this movie. It’s like our movie,” Peter said sheepishly.

How could he say no to that? “Let’s watch it then.”

“Did you know James Dean died before the release?” Peter asked as he brought their pizza into the living room.

“Yes, I have been alive a little longer than you.”

“I wish John and Gus liked movies that didn’t have exploding buildings and half-naked girls,” Peter murmured.

“They’ll get taste later on, I hope. Now shut up, the movie is coming on.”

The starting credits of Giant started to run. It always shocked him how much his son took over in his taste in movies, unlike the older two.

By the time the movie went off Peter’s head was nodding. “Go on to bed. I’ll wake you and say goodbye before I leave.”

He would have to leave before the boys woke up for school. Peter nodded his head and headed upstairs. Brian went into his office to get some work done. He left his door open, so he could hear the boys when they came stumbling in. If they smelt like alcohol he would ground them for a month. God, he really was a parent.

It was about time for him to start calling parents when he heard the front door open. Looking at the clock, he saw it was well past their eleven o’clock curfew on school nights. He waited until they started to try and sneak past his office before letting them know they were fooling no one.

“Where the hell have you two been?” he snapped on the hallway light, lighting up his wayward children.

The first thing he noticed was the black eyes John was sporting. He looked closer at Gus and noticed his lip was fat.

“What happened to you two?”

“Just drop it,” Gus said, before started to walk to his room.

“I don’t think I will. You tell me now what happened.”

“It’s nothing, Dad,” John said, not looking him in the eye.

“I’m not playing around, tell me what happened now.”

“You want to know what happened? You ruined my life, that’s what happened. Why do you have to be gay? Why can’t you be straight? You make us look like freaks,” Gus said before tearing off to his room and slamming the door.

He didn’t show that the dagger in his back hurt, he just looked at John for clarification.

“Some of the kids were saying somethings about you being gay. It happens every now and then. It hasn’t happened since like eighth grade but one of the guys saw us at The Plank. He thought that Justin guy was your date and it was like a family thing. That would have been the end of it, but this guy started calling Gus and me names. I told him to drop it, but you know Gus. One thing led to another and I got a black eye for trying to pull Gus out of the party.”

“Gus gave you the black eye?”

“He didn’t mean to, he jerked his elbow back. We’ve been at the park for the past hour, I’ve been trying to cool him down. Don’t let it get to you, Dad. He’ll be better when you get back. I think he’s not sure of his own place in the world and trying to make sense of it all.”

Not for the first time Brian looked at his middle child with awe. Most people just saw Gus’ sidekick. They didn’t see the extraordinary and smart boy he was all on his own. Gus was more an in-your-face personality, but John was a quiet thinker. His mind was always working overtime. Not only that, he could sing and play guitar like no one’s business. One day, he would stop living in his brother’s shadow.

“When did you get so smart?”

“I think it was the toxins the government put in the water,” he said before cracking a smile.

“Go to bed, smartass.”

After a few measly hours of sleep, he got up and said goodbye to his boys. Gus was still not talking to him, which being half asleep still hurt. Hopefully after he got back he would have calmed down. This was the first time he had ever heard any of his children say anything about gay people being bad.


	5. Brother Can You Spare A Dime

Ted unlocked the door to Brian’s house, he was expecting the boys to be home any minute from school. Usually it would be Debbie, Emmett or Michael to come and stay with the boys while Brian was out of town. Unfortunately, Michael and Ben were out of town themselves visiting their oldest son, Hunter, at college. They adopted Hunter about four years ago, they just finished the adoption of another boy who had once been a street boy too. Bradley was only twelve when they found him. It had been an uphill battle but having Hunter do so well under their care and go on to college, the state finally got their act together and Bradley was officially Bradley Novotny-Bruckner. Bradley was right in middle of Brian’s boys’ ages, fourteen. Brian’s older boys didn’t really think anything of him, good or bad. Bradley seemed to want to be Peter’s friend, but Peter really didn’t do friends. He would rather stay home and work on things he liked.

Brian had asked Ted to try and get Peter to at least go to Debbie’s this weekend. Debbie would make the two help her, maybe that could bond them, Bradley needed a friend and so did Peter.

Emmett couldn’t watch the kids because he and Drew were still in their honeymoon stage, no one should put up with that. Just last weekend they took Gus and John to some football thing, he didn’t really know what. That left Debbie, she couldn’t come over and watch them because she had Bradley for the weekend.

Deciding he would start dinner, so he could help the boys with their homework when they got home. Brian had told him that the boys had been eating too much junk lately and to get back to healthy dinners.

Just as he put the salmon in the oven, the door opened. He waited to see which one it was. Two minutes later, John came into the kitchen.

“How was school?” Ted asked.

“Normal,” John asked, raising his eyebrow. He looked very much like Brian. Most people thought Gus and John were twins, not identical but they were similar. Peter on the other hand was the opposite of the dark-haired Kinney boys, he had sandy blond hair and deep green eyes.

“What kind of answer is that?”

“Normal,” he said, grinning that famous Kinney smirk.

“Where’s your brother?”

“Which one?”

Ted was going to end up strangling this kid, he just knew it.

“Gus.”

“In his room, probably writing his manifesto.”

“What’s wrong with him?”

John shrugged. “Fight with Dad, still pissed off.”

“So, he’s normal. I fought with my dad and the man was a saint. What was the fight about?”

John mumbled something that Ted didn’t catch. “I didn’t hear you. What was that?”

“He doesn’t understand why Dad has to be gay.”

Ted blinked. Brian’s kids always knew he was gay, they never had a problem with it before. Or at least he didn’t think they did. Hell, every adult they knew besides Debbie and Carl were gay.

“He’s upset with your dad for being gay?”

John groaned. “No, not really. Kids are just dicks, okay?”

That he understood. “Yeah, like giving up you bachelor lifestyle that you always wanted to raise you son and you dead sister’s sons, giving them everything you never had like food always on the table, a safe home, no fear of coming home. I agree, kids can really be dicks.” He hated to be so harsh but damn, Brian may be a lot of things, but he was a good father. Ted would be damned if he lets his kids think he’s a bad father just for being gay.

“What do you mean ‘no fear of coming home’?” A new voice asked.

Ted saw Gus standing in the kitchen doorway, he hadn’t heard it open. A thought that never occurred to him before hitting him full force, Brian never told the boys about his childhood. He had stepped in it now, Brian was going to kill him. Well, there is no way to put the toothpaste back in the tube.

“What has your father told you about his childhood?”

“Nothing, he said it was over and no use talking about it,” Gus said, taking a seat next to his brother.

“I don’t know all the details myself, your father is insanely private about his past. But I do know somethings, some from Debbie telling me, things Michael said, and mostly, from when he was sick.”

He had taken on making Brian eat, sleep, not kill himself trying to work. Shaking his head, he cleared his throat. “What do you know about your father’s parents?”

“Grandma is an alcoholic and Grandpa yelled a lot.”

Ted nearly jumped when he heard Peter speak. “Hey, hey, the gang’s all here. Well, best you all hear this together. You’re right, your Dad’s mom is an alcoholic, but his dad didn’t just yell. He beat Brian and Claire from the time they were small. Best way to explain it I guess would tell you what happened between his freshman year of high school and his sophomore. This is a story I heard from Michael, Debbie and Brian, each adding something the other two didn’t.

“Your dad got an award at school the last day of freshman year, it was something he said he was very proud of. He knew his father would say mean things if he knew so he hid it in his room. That summer he spent every day he wasn’t at work at Debbie’s. She had gotten him a job bussing tables at the diner. Anyway, one day, he didn’t show up for work. Debbie sent Michael to see what had happened, Michael found Brian in his room passed out on the floor in his own blood. All in all, he had a black eye, broken arm, two cracked ribs and broken nose. Brian told the doctors he fell while cleaning the gutters. The doctors knew it was bs, everyone did but they didn’t call the police. They just patched him up and sent him home.”

“What really did happen?” Gus asked, his voice strained.

“Jack Kinney had broken into Brian’s room that morning while he was in the shower. He was looking for Brian’s stash of money from his job. He found the award instead. When Brian got out of the shower, he was on him about how he thought he was better than everyone. Instead of trying not to get the beating, your father stood up for himself. He was proud of that award. So, he told his father that he was better than him, a slug was better than him because it had a purpose in life. He said that was all he remembered until he woke up in the ambulance with Michael by his side.”

All three boys looked sick. He hated sharing something so painful from Brian’s past, but he worked hard to give the boys everything. Sometimes, it made them spoiled and not caring anything for their father’s feelings. Brian may be a heartless bastard some of the time but never to his children.

“Was it because he was gay?” Gus asked quietly.

“No, it was because he was an abusive drunk. When you boys were really small, his dad showed up to tell him he was dying. Your dad did then tell him he was gay.”

“What did he say?” John asked.

“This was before your dad got sick. He told him that your dad should be the one who was dying, that he was a sick pervert for wanting to raise you boys. But he didn’t tell your grandmother, so at least Brian didn’t have her here trying to get you away from him and his deviant lifestyle.”

The hit to Gus looked almost like a physical blow. “I didn’t mean what I said.”

“I know and inside your dad knows. But you have to understand, he never felt loved when he was a child, never felt accepted for who he was. So, I don’t even have to talk to him to know what you said hurt. He’s done everything he could for you boys, and now he’s thinking that he’s never going to be enough. It’s okay to be mad about being picked on but it’s not okay to share that hurt.”

“No, he’s enough. He’s the best dad ever,” Peter said, panic lacing his voice.

“Maybe, when he gets home, tell him that. I’m sure he would like to hear it, even if he acts like he doesn’t.”

Gus was quiet, but Ted knew his words were taken in.

 

Justin and the kids just left the DNA clinic, they said the results would come back in about three weeks. He was lucky and Helen and Morris, Ethan’s parents went and had their DNA tested in Florida, where they moved after Ethan was accepted to PIFA. He hoped that Mika being Ethan’s wouldn’t cause any trouble, Ethan’s parents had already spoken in court before in his favor, something his old lawyer was against.

He needed to get some groceries, something he hated doing with two four-year olds, but he didn’t have a choice. Daphne was going out of town with her boyfriend.

“Can I get this?” Mika asked holding up a box of sugar cereal.

“No, it has too much sugar. But if you’re good while I’m shopping I’ll get you two a treat at checkout.”

“YAY!” they shouted.

The rest of shopping was pretty uneventful, they were usually very good at the store. It was just the day Brian found them at the Big Q, they all were on their last bit of patience.

“Justin?”

It was a voice that made his heart ache, looking up he saw his baby sister. She was standing with two other girls, they were all looking at him. She was so grown looking, sixteen he had to remind himself. In his mind she was always that seven-year-old little girl she had been when he got kicked out of the house for being gay. It had made going to PIFA more difficult, but he made it. That’s not saying he wouldn’t be paying off student loans until he was long dead. The last time he saw her, she was eleven and his dad had yelled at him for seeing her.

“Who’s that Daddy?” Nanette asked, she was standing behind him peeking around.

“That’s my sister, Nan,” he said, looking at Molly.

“Dad?” Molly’s eyes widened.

“Yep, these are my children, Nanette and Mika.” He turned around to look at his children. “This is your Aunt Molly.”

“I don’t understand. Where have you been? If you had kids why didn’t you bring them to meet me? Do Mom and Dad know?”

Justin sighed. “Mom and dad do know. I told them after the twins were born. They told me as long as I was still gay I wasn’t welcome in their home and neither was my…children.” He was about to say freak children, because that’s what his father called them but then he remembered his kids were listening.

“No, they said you left because you got into drugs, that’s why I wasn’t supposed to talk to you if you ever came by or called.”

“I’ve never done anything stronger that pot and that was only in college. They lied to you, but I didn’t expect them to tell you the truth. So, how is mom and dad?” He didn’t really care.

Her eyes started to water before she said, “They divorced. Dad moved in with his secretary. Mom ran off with my teacher a few years ago, they had been having an affair for years.”

“You live with Dad?” he asked, thinking it must suck to live with Dad and Hannah unless he got another secretary.

“No, Hannah didn’t want me there, she said she wasn’t really a kid person.”

“What about Mom?”

“Haven’t heard from her in three years.”

“Where the hell have you been living?”

“Lived with Grandmother for two years until Dad put her in the home. Now I’m couch surfing at friends’ houses, I came back hoping Dad would let me stay. Hannah’s pregnant, turns out she’s just not a kid person when the kid’s not hers.”

The rage he felt at his parents at that moment was almost tangible. “I’m in the middle of places right now, we’re staying with Daphne, but you are welcome to stay in the kids’ room with them until we get a place. I was saving money, but I don’t really need to save that much anymore. So, I could probably find something in the week. If I do, do you want to move in with us?” He would be devastated if she said no.

“Really, you want me to live with you?”

He could see how their parent’s abandonment had hurt her, and his own abandonment of her. If he were a better brother, he would have checked on her, not caring what his parents said.

“Yes, I really want you to live with us.”

“Are you sure Daphne wouldn’t mind? I’ve been staying at Jessica’s for the last few weeks, but I think her mom is getting tired of feeding me.”

“I’m sure of it, but to make you feel better I’ll call her.”

Twenty minutes later, he was buckling his two excited children up and watching his sister put the groceries in the car. He had been right, Daphne was fine with it. She was upset she hadn’t known about Molly and his parents. She knew they moved but that was all.


	6. Fired Up

“This is bullshit,” Brian raged.

Vance gave him that pompous look that pissed Brian off. He had just gotten off the plane and headed straight to the office. All he wanted to do was go home, see his kids and get some sleep. But Vance had demanded his presence as soon as he landed. It had been a shit trip from beginning to end, he just wanted it to be done. That was until his boss just dropped the bomb he just did.

“I’m sorry, Brian, but you knew how important Telegenetis was to Vanguard.”

“And I told you from the very beginning, Loftis wouldn’t leave Calgen. It’s his son-in-law’s agency for fuck’s sake.” It had been a lost cause from the beginning.

“Brian, when I kept you on after I took  
this agency from Ryder, you were an asset. Lately, though, your numbers haven’t been anywhere near as high as they should be to justify your pay.”

“I’m a partner,” Brian reminded him.

“Junior, and the contract you  
signed gave me the right to let you go if your performance dropped significantly. You should have read your last contract closer.” Brian had.

“You can’t just fire me, I have  
responsibilities, clients, a family.”

Gardner pulled out a stack of signed paperwork and slid it over to where Brian was standing. “I think you’ll find everything in order. You are no longer an employee of Vanguard.”

Brian grabbed the paperwork and started reading, finding the words he needed from legal. Looking back up at Gardner Vance, he smiled. Vance looked a little unsure of himself now, as he  
should. Brian was relieved he could stop acting now.

“Thank you, Gardner.”

“I don’t know why you’re smiling; no agency will want you with word about your work ethic.”

It was the business they were in, he may not want Brian anymore, but he didn’t want anyone else to have him either. He would have spread lies high and low about him. Too bad for  
him, that wasn’t Brian’s plan.

“Good thing I’m going into business for myself, I won’t have to deal with agencies you’ve already bad mouthed me to.”

“Did you forget the non-compete contract. You cannot start your own agency for three years after leaving Vanguard.”

Brian smirked, happy to be the one giving Vance this news. “That’s only if I quit. It seems you didn’t read your own contract too well. Ask legal if you don’t believe me.”

Just then two big security guards entered the office. He had been expecting this. Vance wanted him to be escorted out of the building with everyone seeing. He wanted him embarrassed. Too bad for him, Brian had never been one to do things other people’s way. Before the guards could say anything else, Ted and Cynthia burst through the door. They both had a single sheet of paper in their hands.

“Took your time didn’t you two?” he drawled.

“Sorry, we just heard and had to print off our letters,” Cynthia said.

“What’s going on?” Vance demanded.

There was a blood vessel on his forehead that looked ready to burst.

“We’re here to put in our resignations,” Ted answered.

“What?”

“Well, it’s like this Gardner. Ted is going to be head of accounting in the agency I’m starting up and Cynthia will be Account Director. I have an idea of who to hire for Head of the Art  
Department.”

“None of my art department people will leave,” he said smugly.

“Thank God for that, they’re incompetent. You should have fired them years ago but that’s not my problem anymore. Well, it looks like Jeff and Bill are getting impatient so we’re going to leave. Thank you again for turning me loose. I’ve been stagnating here under your rule. You never go after the clients you think are beneath you, what you don’t understand is their money as green as the next. I will enjoy the next few months,” he said, before turning and heading to his office to get his things.

The guards followed him as he grabbed the important stuff in his office, but so did Ted and Cynthia. Cynthia grabbed her things from her desk as they passed, Ted said he didn’t have anything worth it in his tiny cubicle. Instead of walking out of there with his  
head hung down in shame like Vance had wanted, he held it high with a relieved smile on his face. He had been sick when he resigned to Vanguard. He had wanted to start his own agency right before he found out about the cancer. But because he needed security and health insurance, he resigned. It was a contract more restrictive than the last but there was a little stipulation. It had stuck out to him, at first it annoyed him that they could think he would be fired. But as he thought about it, the more freeing it felt. It wasn’t like he wanted to be hired on by another agency; he wanted to start his own.

Unlike what Vance thought, he hadn’t lost his touch. It had nothing to do with people not liking him. The only reason Vance and Brian didn’t have the numbers Vance expected was because Vance started putting him on shit accounts. Accounts that would barely make a drop in Brian’s bank account. Vance wanted him gone for a long time, and now he had it. He just would have to face the consequences of making him a competitor.

Brian had an idea to get Justin as head of the Art department, he just needed to make that a reality. He had  
looked at the man’s graphics work online, it was amazing. He also saw his paintings and drawings he had done in school and after before his husband was killed. If he hired him, Justin would make the money to secure his family and livelihood. Also, maybe he could start doing his own art again. Brian stopped that train of thought. Why would he care what some man he met twice does with his life?

Shaking his head, he pushed those thoughts away. He needed to get a start on his plans for his agency. It didn’t do him any good to procrastinate on things. He made a quick call to his realtor before he headed home, he hoped she would be able to find him a place that worked for him. A stuffy office building was not where he wanted his office to be at. As he drove, he thought about messaging Justin to cancel their whatever it was, but he decided against it. He would need to talk to him about the job offer anyway.

 

 

* * *

 

The apartment was quiet, Justin was trying to find money where there wasn’t any. He had gone over his finances several times and couldn’t find enough for a place for the four of them to live. He was so glad to have Molly back in his life but adding a teenager to his already stressed budget was difficult. He would have to get another job. Molly had already volunteered to babysit if he had to work, it looked like he would have to take her up on it and cut his childcare expenses with Daphne’s sister. He was still waiting for Ms. Marcus to call about his case, but he should take no news as good news.

He thought about cancelling his date with Brian but both Daphne and Molly had talked him into it. Nanette had taken the news about his date well, but Mika was less than pleased. He never wanted to lie to his children, so he told them he was going out with a friend, which is more truth than it being a date. Mika was way too much like Ethan for his own good, he knew how to guilt Justin like no one’s business. To keep the kids minds off what he was doing, Daphne and Molly took the kids to The Plank, they had just left all dressed up…something Molly was less than thrilled about.

His phone went off, drawing him away from his laptop and finances. He thought it would be Brian, it wasn’t. Whoever called was an unlisted number and hung up after he answered.

Brian then called, telling him he was downstairs waiting. He closed his laptop and got his keys. He had to tell himself to breath, it wasn’t like it was a real date.

As he descended the stairs, he saw Brian right outside the security door. He looked good even if he looked a little tired. That was to be expected after his trip, he was still getting back to Pittsburgh time.

“Hi,” he said a little shyly, it was so not like him.

“Hey,” Brian replied.

“Fuck!” he exclaimed looking at Brian’s car.

“Yep, I like it.” Brian was standing in front of a classic ‘Vette.

“That’s your car?”

“Yeah, I got it after I went in remission.”

Justin sucked in a breath, Brian had cancer.

“Put the look away, I’m all good now, just a little more artificial in places than I used to be.”

Justin didn’t want Brian to feel like he needed to tell him about it, so he changed subjects. “This is a really nice car. Are you going to let your kids drive it?”

“HELL NO! If they want a pussy-mobile they can get a job and work for it.”

“Is that what this is?” he asked.

“Hasn’t been the case for me, dick on the other hand…or in both hands.”

Justin blushed, again something unlike him. Brian was so different from Ethan. Shit, he really shouldn’t be comparing the two. He shouldn’t even be out with someone so soon after Ethan’s death or when his kids needed him more.

“You good?” Brian asked.

It was then Justin realized he was just standing there staring off into space. Way to look like a weirdo. The maybe date was starting off badly, he thought.

“I’m fine. Where are we going? The Plank?” he asked, smiling at Brian.

Brian shivered openly, making Justin laugh. “I will never step foot in that place again. I think I got lice just from walking in that place.”

Justin couldn’t help the involuntary action of scratching his head. His children had gotten lice twice in their lives and he had to treat them and the whole house. Ethan had not been pleased when Justin cut his hair, it had just been easier. Ethan had loved Justin’s long hair, which was why now he hadn’t cut it since before he lost Ethan.

“It’s not that bad. They used to have a waiter named Hank, he’s a retired Marine and lost his arm while overseas well…he had a real hook and it was all old looking and authentic. He was awesome, the kids loved him, and Ethan would drool over him all the time.

Brian looked at him sideways. “And you were alright with that? I thought you two had your dicks removed or something.”

Justin laughed. “Yes, I was fine with it, he was just looking. Trust me when I tell you this, Logan was worth the drooling.”

“He doesn’t work there anymore?” Brian sounded a little too interested for Justin’s liking. It was funny, he never got jealous with Ethan. Ethan had always had a roaming eye, but he hadn’t ever thought he acted on it until that call he had gotten.

Shaking his head, he pushed those thoughts away. He wasn’t letting some unknown person besmirch his husband’s memory. Ethan was dead and gone, he could no longer defend himself. If it turned out he did cheat, Justin would forgive him. It would hurt but some wounds he knew he could heal from. Losing his children was not such a wound.

“Earth to Justin,” Brian said, drawing Justin out of his thoughts.

“Sorry.”

“Sorry’s bullshit.”

Well that was one way to think of it, he didn’t really think he agreed but wasn’t about to argue. He had been saying sorry since he was small, it had been something he learned from his mom.

“So where are we going?” he asked, hoping to lighten his downward spiraling mood.

“Babylon.”

Justin groaned. “Aren’t we a little old for the club scene?”

“Are you calling me an aging club boy?”

Justin shook his head frantically, Brian was everything he wasn’t. Successful, rich and gorgeous. Justin knew he had always been nice looking, but he was never going to be hot or look anywhere near mouthwatering as Brian Kinney did. He was the whole package, compared to him…Justin was a floundering, poor nobody. Ethan had been the successful one in their relationship. Ethan had more talent, Justin knew that. People had always been after Ethan for that talent. It wasn’t easy either, he played when he was sick, hurting and sometimes his fingers bleed from it. Ethan had been right; all Justin did was draw pretty pictures. And after Chris and Anthony, they hadn’t been too pretty. But he did his best not to think about that, Ethan had told him to just block it from his mind. When he escaped high school with nothing more than a few black eyes, he had thought he was done with Chris Hobbs. That hadn’t been right though, Chris, Anthony and he had a fateful night in December just after he and Ethan had got together. It lived on in his nightmares, the only saving grace was Chris was dead and couldn’t hurt him again. Ethan had said because Chris was dead, he shouldn’t be still feeling unsafe, that was a laugh. Anthony was still alive and well, wherever he was now.

NO! He would not let that night come back, not tonight. Brian already thought he was a freak.

“Well, what are we waiting for?” Justin asked, making up his mind to have a good time.

 

                           Up Next- The Date  

 


	7. The Date

Justin hadn’t ever been in Babylon, that’s not to say he’s never been in a club. When he started PIFA, him and Daphne had gone to Poppers. They had considered Babylon, but you needed a membership to get in. Poppers hadn’t been his scene at all.

They didn’t even have to wait in the line, Brian led them to the front and the bouncer greeted Brian and they were let in. The music was thumping through the place. It was so loud he couldn’t hear himself think. Maybe that was for the best, he could just be Justin tonight.

Brian had gotten him a drink and they drank while watching to gyrating bodies. At first Justin thought Brian would be as professional as he always was around him. But that hadn’t happened, as soon as they walked through the doors, Brian had come alive. Brian seemed to lose his years and Justin could see the young man he had once been. It wasn’t that Brian looked old, in fact he looked in his early thirties but now he looked radiant to Justin.

They danced until Justin’s leg started acting up. When Brian gave him a look, he felt like he was disappointing the man.

“You dance, I’m just going to go stand over by the bar and a get a drink.”

“Something wrong?”

Justin didn’t want Brian to think he was weak or broken, so he lied. “No, just tired.”

Brian nodded, and Justin did his absolute best not to limp back to the bar. It was days like this, when his leg was acting up when it was hard to ignore his past. Ethan had said once that he only complained of it hurting when Ethan really needed him.

“Justin, is that you?”

Looking up at the voice, he was thrown back in time. Standing not five feet from him was Carter, Ethan’s ex. Carter was thrown in his face every time he messed up. Carter wouldn’t need pills to be able to go out into public. Carter doesn’t need to make sure the door is locked six times. Carter would have handled everything better.

“Hey, Carter,” Justin said, hoping that Carter would just go away. He hadn’t seen him since after the twins were born.

It had been weird, Ethan got very protective of the twins. Carter came over when they were only two weeks old. Justin had gotten used to the idea that the ex would always be in their lives. Carter asked to hold the babies and Ethan freaked the fuck out. He said no, he was worried about germs. It had all been very weird.

“I’m surprised to see you here. This really isn’t Ethan’s scene. Where is the jerk?” he asked good-naturedly.

Justin’s mouth dropped open. How could he not know Ethan was dead? It wasn’t like Ethan dying made the newspapers or anything but as far as he knew, Carter was still friends with Collier, a friend of Ethan’s. Collier was a pompous asshole but had been there for Justin and the kids when he lost Ethan. The man had slept on their couch for weeks and made him and the kids eat. Truthfully if it wasn’t for Daphne and Collier, he wouldn’t have made it through the last year. That reminded him, he had to call Collier and check on him, he hadn’t heard from him in a few weeks.

He didn’t want to just spit out that Ethan was dead in middle of a club. But he wasn’t sure he would see Carter again. “Ethan died almost a year ago.”

Carter looked like he was going to pass out. “What? No, he can’t be dead.”

“I’m sorry you have to find out like this. I would have called you to let you know if I knew Collier hadn’t.” Guilt ate at him.

“Collier? I haven’t talked to that turncoat in four years. Not since Ethan shut me out of his life.”

That didn’t make sense to Justin. Sure, Ethan was an over-protective new father but cutting Carter out of his life all together was not like him. Ethan was a social animal, he needed people around him. Justin always believed that he liked that Carter was still in love with him. Justin used to think that’s why Ethan kept Collier and Tara so close too but later he found out, Collier was in love with someone else. And Tara needed Ethan as her touchstone, it wasn’t the love he had mistaken it for, it was like his love of Daphne.

“Look, I’m really sorry. If you want, I can give you my number and we can talk more about it. But I’m here with someone right now.”

Carter glared at him. “Don’t bother.” He turned and stomped off.

“What was that about?”

Justin nearly jumped at Brian’s sudden presence. He turned to the man, Brian still looked amazing after dancing in between dozens of hot bodies.

“Nothing,” he said quickly.

“Didn’t look like nothing.”

“Th-that was Ethan’s ex, Carter. They stayed close friends for years, but something happened between them. I thought Ethan’s friend Collier had told him about Ethan dying. Turns out Collier has been cold shouldering Carter too. I hated telling him that way, but I didn’t have much of a choice.”

Justin couldn’t read Brian’s expression. Soon, though he was reminded why he was trying to get away. His right leg started to throb, his knee almost buckled but he held strong. After his interaction with Carter he just felt drained. He didn’t want the man to mess up his night with Brian.

“I didn’t mean the troll. I meant, you, you look like you’re in pain.”

Justin sighed. “I am.” He hated to admit it, but he needed to get somewhere to sit soon.

“What’s hurting?”

“My leg.”

“Come on, let’s go to the Diner, you can sit and tell me about it.”

That’s what Justin feared. After telling Brain about his past, the man would never be interested in him again. Brian lead him through the club, he walked slow which made Justin feel useless. Once they were on the street, he gave up all pretenses and started limping. It wasn’t a long walk to the Diner, it was just a little further than Brian’s car.

The Diner was a busy little place, he had never been in it. Ethan hadn’t really liked Liberty Avenue, he didn’t make the tips he wanted in school there.

A woman with bright red hair came over to them, she was wearing a name badge and apron.

“What are you doing here?” she asked Brian, she eyed Justin before looking back at Brian.

“Trying to get something to eat. That is what this place is for, isn’t it?” he asked snidely.

Justin was shocked by Brian’s tone and words but was surprised when the woman laughed, smacked him on the head and smiled. “Alright, you little asshole, what do you want?”

He ordered some kind of fruit plate, Justin did not follow suit. He ordered something that had lots of fat and grease involved. Brian gave him a look, but Justin shrugged. He wasn’t with his kids right now trying to get them to eat vegetables.

His leg started to seize up, but he was sitting so he was able to handle it. Brian must have saw his flinch because he looked at him again with that assessing gaze.

 “So, tell me what’s wrong with your leg,” Brian said as the waitress brought him chocolate milk and Brian’s water.

“It’s nothing really, I hurt it in college, that’s all.”

“Bullshit, tell me the truth.”

“I was in college. Long story short, I was the victim of a hate crime.”

Brian’s left eyebrow rose. “How?”

 

“I went to private school, there was a big man on campus there named Chris. He and his jock buddies used to bully everyone but seemed to take great joy in the ‘gay’ kids. Well, once I graduated high school, you know I thought it was over. One day, a few

months after Ethan and I got together, he was off playing a gig in Harrisburg. I decided to go out and have fun with my friend Daphne. We went out to a club called Starlight, it was full of straight people, but I had someone and we were looking for someone for Daph. She met this guy, they started dancing. I was still underage, so I couldn’t drink, so I was just people watching.

 

Soon, I felt someone watching me. I looked for the person until I saw who it was. It was Chris, he was glaring at me. I went to the other side of the bar, and he followed me. I found Daphne and told her I needed to leave, she understood. She wanted to go with me, but I wanted her to have a good time. There were some of our other friends there, so I didn’t feel like I was abandoning her. Anyway, I took off hoping to lose Chris. I was almost to our apartment when I was punch in the head from behind.

Next thing I know, I’m in an alley with Chris and one of his friends glowering at me. Chris started ranting at me that I was everything wrong with the world and everything. That was when he lifted up a baseball bat. He said he was going to rape me with the bat and I would love it because that’s what all fags are like. I told him to leave and I wouldn’t tell anyone he hit me. He laughed. He fucking laughed.”

At that moment the waitress came with their food. Justin shook off the icy feeling that had taken him over. He hated remembering that night though it was never really far from his mind. The waitress walked back off after Brian glared at her.

“Finish,” Brian said, his voice wasn’t hard but did sound a little off.

“He gave me the choice, I could either die with a shred of dignity or I could beg and cry like he thought I would but still die. I didn’t want to die but I knew begging Chris wouldn’t stop him. There was a look in his eye, one that I never want to see in someone else. He decided to break me before he killed me. He took that bat and bashed both of my legs. The pain was unbearable. I screamed for help, no one came. Just as he raised the bat to bash my head in, he fell to the ground. All I could hear was the blood rushing in my ears, it took a minute to figure out what had happened. His friend, Anthony, who had just stood by and watched the whole thing, stabbed Chris before the last hit.

“Turns out he hit Chris’ brachial artery. He was just trying to stop him from killing me, but Chris bled out so fast. When he realized Chris was dying, he lost it. He told me if anyone found out he would kill me. As it happens someone did hear my screaming and called the police. They got there seconds after Chris took his last breath. I told the police most of the truth about Chris attacking me. But I was still so scared of Anthony that I kept it quiet, I told them he came up on us and saved my life, I told them I stabbed Chris. I grabbed the knife when I heard them coming, so my prints were on it. It was the truth, I just left out that he had been with Chris from the beginning. My left leg healed right but my right didn’t. My doctor says I’ll need knee replacement surgery soon, but I’ve been putting him off for a couple years.”

 

 

* * *

 

Brian couldn’t believe what he was hearing. So much trauma for someone so young, he would have never guessed Justin was the victim of a gay bashing. When he finished talking, Justin started to pick at a napkin in front of him.

“What happened to other guy Anthony?”

Justin looked a little sick. “He’s still around. I haven’t seen him since the police declared Chris’ death self-defence. Daphne said she’s seen him a couple times, but he seems to want to forget it ever happened. Can we just talk about something else, anything?”

 

Brian didn’t want to linger on this uncomfortable topic. He wasn’t good with emotions, he did what he had to as a parent, but Justin wasn’t his responsibility.

“Alright, I was hoping for better timing, but I wanted to know if you wanted a job?”

Justin’s face was almost comical with his mouth dropping. “What are you talking about?”

“Well, I kind of got fired yesterday. Now I’m starting my own agency and I need someone to be head of the art department.”

“You’re kidding right? I’ve got no experience.”

“I like your work, what I’ve seen of it. And you have the degree. All you need is some shaping and help, you’ll be great.”

He watched Justin think it over. “What does it pay?” Brian knew he had him then.

They were in the car after leaving the Diner. This whole dating thing was not in his way. He fucked and went home. This was making him feel weird.

“Who’s watching the kids tonight?” he asked, trying to get something to talk about.

“My best friend/roommate Daphne and my sister.”

“I didn’t know you had a sister.” Him and Claire had never been close, but he wished she were around just to know he was doing right by her boys.

“Hadn’t seen her in years before a week ago. Turns out my parents weren’t just terrible to me. At least I was a legal adult at the time they kicked me out. She’s only sixteen now and has been alone for two years.”

“That’s illegal.”

“I know that, but she’s too scared to go to the police. She doesn’t want to be put into foster care.”

“That won’t happen, she has you.”

“Right now, I’m staying in my best two-bedroom apartment. I sleep on the couch while my sister and my kids share a full-size bed. I need to find a place I can afford that can fit all of us before Tara finds out about the living situation. Or before someone finds out about Molly. She’s old enough to watch the twins and promised to help out. I just wish I could give her a room of her own.”

Brian took a right turn, driving to his street. Maybe, they would be able to help each other out. “I just thought of a signing bonus I could offer you.”

Justin snorted. “I think I already know where this is headed.”

“Please, I wouldn’t use that old line. No, this is a real one.”

Brian passed his house and pulled into the house next door, it wasn’t as big or fancy as his. It was a simple three bedroom with an office/den, two baths and a nice backyard. He had bought it a few years ago and been renting it out. Being as selective as he is, after his last tenant moved out a few months back he hadn’t found someone he liked for it.

“Where are we?”

“You’re signing bonus if you accept my job offer. I’ll knock off the deposit and two hundred a month.”

Justin’s eyes widened. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am, but I have a request.”

Justin’s shoulders sunk. Brian didn’t even want to think what he thought the deal was for. If he did, he might have been offended. “We’ll be starting this agency up from the ground. Which means long hours at the office…once I have one. It also means I’ll be spending more time away from my house. Gus and John will be fine, but I worry about Peter. Maybe if he could stay over here while I’m at work with your sister and the twins I won’t have to worry about him becoming too isolated.”

“I don’t know. I don’t like feeling like a charity case, it’s hard enough with Ms. Marcus taking over my case pro bono.”

“Just think about it, alright? Come on, let’s look around.”

 

 

* * *

 

Justin followed Brian into the nice-looking house. Once they walked through the door the first thing Justin noticed was it was furnished with gorgeous hardwood floors.

“This is beautiful,” he said in awe.

“It’s alright,” Brian whispered in his ear. “Let me show you the kitchen or better yet the kitchen table.”

Justin hadn’t noticed how close Brian had gotten to him until that moment. He shivered uncontrollably, this was a new feeling to him. He loved Ethan with all his heart, but the man didn’t exude sexual energy like Brian Kinney.

Brian pulled Justin into the kitchen and pushed him against the table.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Justin asked as Brian’s hand started to make his way down his back.

“What does it look like?” His hand was slipping under Justin jeans, cupping his ass.

“DAD!” a voice shouted from the living room.

Brian moved so fast Justin thought he would get whiplash. The older man was on the other side of the kitchen when the door opened, and his youngest son stepped inside.

“Hey, Sonny boy, what are you doing here?” Brian asked, his eyes gave Justin a promise before focusing on the boy.

“I saw your car and was worried,” Peter said anxiously.

“I was just showing Justin the house, he’s thinking about renting it.”

“Oh, that’s cool. Um…I was wondering if you could help me with my homework if it’s not too much trouble.”

Justin knew then his night was over, kids always came first…as it should be. “I can call a cab,” he said.

“No, I’ll drop you off and come back.” Brian turned to his son. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Alright. Thanks, Dad.”

When they were leaving Brian promised Justin that they would be able to do a lot more if he moved in next door. Justin could see more upsides to living next to the gorgeous man than just a place for his family.

 


	8. To Tell The Truth

Justin couldn’t believe he was doing this. Once Brian had dropped him off, he had to think about the pros and cons about the new job and the house. The pros outweighed the cons, by a big margin. There was no way he could keep the kids if Tara found out about living in Daphne’s little apartment. He had been lucky to keep it from her this long. Thankfully, when she started this he was still living in his and Ethan’s home. He had to give that up when the lease ran out, and the landlord wouldn’t renew to him.

When Molly and the kids got home that night, he had brought up the idea about the house. Molly had been ecstatic, Nanette had been happy about getting all her stuff out of storage, Mika on the other hand was worried about the move. But all in all, they agreed the job and move would be what would benefit them the most. Before bed he had called Brian to officially accept the job and house. Brian had him meet at the Liberty Diner the next day with the paperwork for both. Brian was meeting his realtor at the Diner and going to look at places for his office after that.

The next week was busy for everyone. Brian was starting an agency in his office while waiting for the renovations on the building he bought for the office to complete. Justin thought it was funny that it once had been the Baths, a place Ethan would have never been. But Brian was just waiting to turn it in to his office building. The differences between Ethan and Brian were like night and day. Sadly, even though he liked Brian, he felt he was cheating on Ethan. Also, now that he was working for Brian it was best to keep their relationship strictly professional. Justin was busy himself, doing everything Brian asked him to from his house and putting the house together.

He and Daphne had moved everything from storage to the new house, Daphne even gave Molly her extra bed. The twins were sharing a room but that’s what they preferred anyway. Setting up his bedroom was hard. There was so much stuff of Ethan’s and not very much of his. Ethan very much had to have everything just the way he wanted. He didn’t like any of Justin’s artwork or his supplies in the room.

It was the first Saturday night since he moved into the house next door to the Kinneys. He had noticed that Brian never came home until late, probably chasing down clients. He had sent Justin several ideas that he wanted him to follow. Justin’s first task was to come up with a logo. Justin was having trouble making BriKin work. Brian Kinney was a genius when it came to all this Ad agency stuff, but Justin was sure the name was wrong. Following his own idea instead, he came up with the design for Kinnetik, and had sent it too Brian. That had been earlier in the day and he hadn’t heard anything from him. He wondered if he were already fired from this job.

Justin was waiting for Molly to get home from her date, flipping through channels. Now that she had a home with a room of her own, she could be just a normal teenager. She had been different since they moved in, almost like she was freer. Before they moved, she seemed to be worried that he would change his mind and not take her. But after the move, it was like she knew he wasn’t going to abandon her. It made him angry at his parents all over again.

Just as he found something to watch, someone knocked on the door. Standing, he felt the cool wood floor under his bare feet. The house was a dream come true, he just wished he could fell comfortable in it.

Opening the door, he was greeting to the sight of a beautiful but visibly exhausted Brian Kinney.

“Hey, what are you doing here this time of night?” he asked.

“Sorry, I realized when I pulled in the drive that I forgot to send you a message about the name. I really like it and the logo. But that meant I had to put some work into changing everything on the paperwork. You are now looking at the owner of Kinnetik.”

“That’s great, Brian.”

“I thought we could continue where we left off,” he said seductively.

“About that,” Justin hedged. “Now that you’re my boss, I don’t think there should be anything but work between us.”

He watched Brian’s face, waiting for the anger at being led on. But that didn’t happen, Brian just shrugged. “No problem. I’ll message you later about a potential client I’m working on.”

One last smirk and he was gone. That wasn’t at all what he was expecting. When Ethan hadn’t gotten his way, or if Justin just wasn’t in the mood, he accused Justin of being a tease. But Brian hadn’t done that, he accepted his decision and went on with life. Justin didn’t know how he felt about that. Thankfully, headlights in the drive told him Molly was home, taking his mind off his boss.

 

 

* * *

 

He could finally relax at home for more than a night. The whole weekend was his. He was going to spend time with his kids and maybe go out and have a little adult time too. When Justin had shot him down a week ago, he had been a little letdown, but he was an adult and could take rejection. Not only that, there where tons of guys who would love to be with him. He hadn’t fucked around as much as he had planned when he was a hormone driven teenager, kids are the ultimate cockblock. But he wasn’t a sexless drone either, that was Ted.

Just as he was thinking about getting up for the day, he heard the doorbell ring. He knew at least two of the boys were up, so he took his time getting ready. He planned to take Gus out for some bonding. They hadn’t talked more than the bare minimum since he got back from his trip. Everything had happened so fast, he lost his job, started up Kinnetik, there were other things he had to do. But now, he needed to fix his family, starting with his oldest.

He was standing in front of his closet when his door was opened.

“Dad?”

“Yeah,” he said, still looking over his choices for the day.

“Can I talk to you?”

He had been planning to talk but he wanted to do it while they were out. “Sure.”

“I was wondering if I could go out tonight,” he said, Brian looked at him and it looked like he was blushing.

“Going over to one of your friend’s house?” he asked suspiciously.

“No, well…you see…Isort’vehaveadate,” he said, jumbling his last words together.

“Say that again.”

“I sort’ve have a date.”

It wasn’t unexpected, he was fifteen after all. He’d been on group dates for two years now. But he guessed this was going to be different. There were many things he had to get used to since his boys became teenagers. Making sure his kids knew he was on his way to their room, giving them time to clean up. Knocking on the doors loudly. Making the kids do their own laundry, he wouldn’t touch their clothes to save his life.

“A date? With who?”

“The girl next door. Molly Taylor. Her brother works for you.”

She was a year older than Gus but that wasn’t Brian’s real problem. He had seen the girl come home from several different dates. He didn’t want his son’s heart to be broken. Knowing it was the way of life, he had no choice but to give his ok.

“Alright, but you and I are going to run some errands today.”

“Daaad.”

“No arguing. Who was at the door?”

“Some guy, told him he had the wrong house.”

“Where was he going?”

“Next door to Molly’s to see her brother.”

“Who was it?” he asked, wondering who would be visiting Justin this early in the morning.

“What do I look like his parole officer?” he asked snottily before leaving the room.

_Don’t kill the boy. Don’t kill the boy._

Shaking off his agitation that he was sure was because his smart mouthed son, not that some unknown man was visiting Justin. It didn’t bother him in the least that Justin could be seeing someone new. Not one little bit.

That’s what he told himself after his shower when he made his way over next door. All he wanted to do was make sure there wasn’t a problem.

Ringing the doorbell, he waited. A red-head he recognized as Justin’s sister Molly answered.

“Can I help you?”

“I’m here to see Justin. I’m Brian Kinney.”

“I know who you are Mr. Kinney. You’re Gus’ dad.”

Great, now he was known as someone’s dad. He might as well go get a walker and hearing aid.

“Yeah. Right, anyway, Justin?”

She shuffled her feet a little, looking a bit embarrassed. “He’s in his room with someone.”

Really? He was having sex in the house during the day with a strange man while his sister and children home. Even Brian never did that, his children didn’t need to know about his sex life. Looks like he and Justin weren’t on the same wavelength as he thought.

“Alright, just tell him to be on time Monday morning.”

They were working out of his office in the building while the rest was being renovated. It had been the first completed.

 

 

* * *

 

“You are an idiot,” Justin snapped. He couldn’t believe Collier had gotten himself in such a mess.

“Tell me something I don’t know. I couldn’t help it, when he looked at me, it was like all he saw was me.”

Justin pushed the clothes he had been sorting on the bed off, they plopped on the floor. “Sit, I don’t think your brain can help you stand anymore.”

Collier landed face first on Justin’s multicolored duvet. He said something, but it was muffled in the bedding.

“What?” Justin asked, sitting down beside him.

Turning over, Collier huffed, pushing himself into a sitting position.

“What I’m I going to do?”

He was looking at Justin like he could just say a word and dig him out. This was beyond his purview, there was no way he could help. Then he remembered that now that Ethan was gone, Collier was his friend. This was the man that was hurting in his own right, and still held Justin and his kids together in those first few months. He had put off his own career to do it; that was more than Ethan had ever done.

“Just be honest with him. A relationship can’t be built on a lie,” he told him. Collier looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “Alright, it can but it wouldn’t be a good one.”

“Fine. I guess I’m single again.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault you told him you were a rich and famous cellist. How about this next time ‘Hello, my name is really Chase, but Collier sounds more pretentious. I’m better at electric cello but I’m scared of my mother, so I play acoustic. I work in my baby sister’s law firm as a legal assistant to make ends meet, I also live in her attic like a weirdo.’ See that’s a better way to say it.”

Collier’s face reddened but then he smiled, Justin didn’t like that.

“I guess that’s alright. But I think yours would be better. “Hello, my name is Justin, I look down on anyone who wasn’t born into a silver spoon in their mouth, as I was. I’m an artist but I like to complain that I don’t have time work on it. I treat everyone I know like they are just adorable little peasants. Even though without my best friend and Pretentious Collier, I would have lost my kids six months ago. I treated my husband like he was trash because he was born to a working class family that he cheated on me since the day we got together. He never thought we would last, so much he- “Collier stopped whatever he was about to say, his face paling.

His words had hurt, and he didn’t want to think about the cheating but whatever it was, Collier hadn’t meant to share.

“What?” he asked, his voice hard.

“Nothing. I think we’re just getting on each other’s nerves.” He stood up, brushing the wrinkles out of his clothes.

“Tell me now, Collier.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“What do you mean. Please, if you were ever my friend, tell me,” he pleaded.

“He- “Collier took a breath. “He didn’t provide the sperm for IVF, he had Carter do it. He thought you and he would never work out. He didn’t want you to be able to come after him for child support if you broke up. He changed his mind when he saw the twins though, he loved them even though they weren’t his blood. Please, don’t hate him.”

Justin was stunned. He couldn’t even process what Collier was telling him.

“I don’t understand. I was with him at the clinic. Not in the room because I had to get my own sample, but he was there.”

“He met you at the clinic, he helped get the sample from Carter right before he met you. They said it would work as long as it was within thirty minutes.”

“Does Tara know?”

“No, only me, Carter and Ethan ever knew. I wouldn’t have known if I didn’t question why Ethan ended all communication not long after the twins were born.”

“Wait! So, you KNEW he was cheating on me?” The look of guilt was clear on his face. “But Mika looks like Ethan.”

“Dumb luck.”

“What do you know about Jeremy Knott?”

“Who?”

“Don’t lie to me. If Ethan was having an affair for years, you would know. Now tell me, who is Jeremy Knott?”

“Justin, I swear, the only man he slept with more than once was Carter. He wasn’t having some long affair. I don’t think he usually even got names. I promise you, this Jeremy Knott whoever he is, didn’t have a years long affair. One night at most.”

“Not only had he cheated on me the whole time we were together, but he violated my trust with the IVF. And he VIOLATED Tara’s trust and body. She agreed to carry Ethan and my children. She didn’t agree to me and Carter. This is starting to make sense now. It wasn’t that he wanted her to be close to the kids, that wasn’t why he never had her sign over her parental rights. It would be because a paternity test would be done because of it. He didn’t want his lies to be found out.” Something just hit him like a wall of bricks. “Carter could take Mika,” he whispered. “Not only that, we always assumed that Nanette was mine because of looks but if Mika is Carter’s, they look nothing alike. But redheads father blond kids all the time.”

He was sinking fast and he knew it. He wanted to grab his kids and run.

“Listen, I’m sorry.”

“GET OUT!” When he didn’t move, Justin shoved him towards the door. “I SAID GET OUT!”

Without any reason to stay, Collier slunk out the door like the snake he was.


	9. Teenage Wasteland

He wouldn’t admit it, but he was nervous as he waited up for Gus. They didn’t talk like he hoped today. All Gus wanted to talk about was Molly and what he should do on his date. Besides all the dates he went on to pretend he was straight, he had no idea what to tell the boy. So now he was out on a date with her. She was the one driving so he would be dropped off.

Headlights lit up the window. He quickly changed channels on the television, like he had been paying attention. After a moment the door opened, and his son came in.

“Have a nice night, Sonny Boy?” he asked, concentrating on the scene.

When there was no answer, he looked at Gus. He looked completely shattered. Standing up, he walked to him, waiting for him to talk.

“I’m going to bed,” Gus muttered before running upstairs.

Now he never thought he would be that kind of parent. But he found himself stomping across his lawn to the house next door. The girl was just getting out of Justin’s car.

“What the hell happened tonight?”

He could see from the security lights that her eyes were red, probably from crying. Oh, hell, he had the feeling he didn’t want to know what happened.

“What happened? You want to know what happened? Why don’t you ask your son? I thought we could have a fun time. You know go out to a movie and down to get a slice at Houdini’s. I didn’t know I would have to be on alert the whole night. When you talk to your son, let him know that he should keep he’s hands to himself.” With that, she turned and ran to the house.

Walking home he felt numb. He never thought any of his children would try and force themselves on anyone. They had the “talk” when Gus and John were twelve. He thought he explained that everything had to be consensual. How had he gone wrong? Once he got home, he knew he couldn’t let whatever happened tonight to be brushed under the carpet.

When he knocked on Gus’ door, there was no answer.

“I need to talk to you. I can talk out here for your brothers to hear or you can let me in.”

There was a click and the door slightly opened. He walked in and watched his son sit down heavily on his computer chair.

“Want to tell me what happened tonight?”

He would not go on the offensive. Gus had to tell him the truth, he wouldn’t do that if he was scared. Brian guessed he had about thirty minutes before a very angry blond was at his door, ready to kill his son for hurting his sister.

“I thought she would like that. She dates older guys. You know guys with a lot of experience.”

“What did you do?” Scared that his son was going to have the police at the door any moment.

“Well, she asked me if she could kiss me. So, we kissed.” Brian guessed it didn’t stop there. “I slid my hand under her shirt. I thought she liked it, Dad. I swear. I didn’t know she didn’t until I felt my cheek get wet. She was crying. I made her cry.”

“What happened then?”

“It was weird. We didn’t talk about it, it was too embarrassing to do that. We just went to get dinner, she wouldn’t even look me in the face. Then we came home, she didn’t say more than one word to me. I thought she was into it.”

Brian wanted to smack the boy. “You’ve known this girl, what a day? Then you go out on a first date. When it comes to kissing, this girl ASKED you, if it was alright to kiss you. Giving you the not-so-subtle hint that permission was needed. That meant this wasn’t her first experience with a handsy boy. But that doesn’t matter, I don’t care if she was quiet the whole night. You don’t force yourself on anyone.”

“I didn’t do that.”

“Didn’t you? She didn’t give you permission to touch her.”

“But it would like kill the mood if I asked.”

_Don’t kill the boy. Don’t kill the boy._

“First, you are fifteen, there is no mood. Second, you know what you did tonight?”

“What?”

“It’s called sexual assault.”

“Nah uh. It was just flirting.”

“FIirting is smiling at each other and giggling like a girl when she makes a joke. Let’s say you went to the diner and the new busboy decided since you two talked about hockey that he could grab your crotch.”

“That’s not fair, I’m not a fa- “

“Go ahead, finished your sentence.”

He wasn’t the fifteen-year-old in this, he could take whatever was thrown at him. Even if it did hurt like a bitch.

“I just meant, it’s not the same. I’m not gay.”

Brian shook his head. “She didn’t want your hand under her shirt anymore than you want Kyle’s hand on your dick. That is the same. You hurt that girl and don’t seem to get what you did wrong. Because of that, I’m putting an end to any dating until I believe you are mature enough to be a good man.” He had to stop whatever was going on in his son’s head to think it was ok.

“You can’t do that.”

Brian stood up from the bed he had been sitting on. “You’ll find I can and just did. Now, I’m going to go next door and promise you won’t get near her again. You better not make me a liar. Don’t fight me on this, you were in the wrong. You need to figure yourself out. Just because you’re scared the other boys will think you’re gay if you don’t chase everything in a skirt, doesn’t mean you get to take it out on any girl dumb enough to like you back.”

Going next door to talk to Justin wasn’t how he wanted to spend his night. He felt a little sick to have to talk about what his son did. The urge the throttle to boy was strong, he never wanted to be like his father. But tonight, had been a near miss.

The door swung open before he walked up the walk. He was greeting by an angry blond, just like he expected.

“I’m going to kill him,” he said, venom in his voice.

“I’ve talked to him.”

“If you would have done that sooner my sister wouldn’t be crying her eyes out.”

“Are you questioning my parenting?” The nerve. Sure, he had fucked up here and there, but teenagers were hard to parent.

The air seemed to come out of Justin’s sails at that. He shook his head. “No,” he said, his voice quiet. “She’s just hurting, and I don’t know what to do to fix it. As much as I’d love to help her, I think she needs my mom. This sucks, maybe if we had been living together for years, she would trust me. But right now, I’m just the big brother who abandoned her, she won’t talk to me.”

“Well, your mother is a lost cause, but what about your friend. The one you lived with, maybe she could talk to her.”

Justin shook his head. “She’s working back to back doubles, she can’t even think straight right now.”

“What about another female friend. As much as I hate to admit it, maybe because of the circumstances she might need a woman to talk with.”

“I don’t have any other female friends. There is Daphne’s sister, but Molly will probably clam up. She just knows her as Daphne’s sister. What she needs is a mom.”

“A mom?” Brian couldn’t help the smile that came over his face. Justin didn’t say her mom this time, he said a mom. Brian knew the perfect mom for the job.

“Listen, I’m going to head back over to my place. I’m going to make a call and in about twenty minutes you’ll have the ultimate mom at your front door. Trust me on this, just let her take over, she will anyway. You can’t get Molly to open up to you, well Debbie is a mom that can get even me to talk. Just let her do her magic.”

Justin bit his lip. “I don’t know. Letting a stranger take to Molly about this?”

Brian laughed. “Well, it doesn’t get any stranger than Debbie but trust me on this. She can make anyone feel better and help them out at the same time.”

“Alright. I’m willing to try anything.”

“Just answer the door when you think someone is trying to beat it down. Subtlety is not Debbie’s strong suit.”

 

 

 

Something was wrong with Justin, Brian could tell. Hell, even though Ted had only met him a few times he knew too. They had been working in mostly silence for the past few hours, it wasn’t a comfortable one either. The rest of the building couldn’t get finished fast enough if you asked him. Sharing his office with Ted was enough to make him want to hit him.

This morning was the first time he saw Justin since the kids’ date from hell. Debbie had come right over, first she went upstairs to talk to his son. He didn’t know what she said but Gus finally looked repentant. Then she went next door. When Brian was getting his morning cup of coffee the next morning, he noticed Debbie’s car was still in the driveway. Later in the day he saw a smiling, laughing Molly get Debbie’s car and head off somewhere with her. He hoped his son hadn’t messed the girl up.

Now it was Monday and Justin hadn’t barely said a word to him except for business.

Once Justin left to get more supplies, Ted confronted him.

“What’s wrong with Mary Sunshine?”

“What?”

“The kid, Justin. What’s his deal? Every other time I’ve seen him he’s been happy and positive. It’s like someone killed his dog and stole his lollipop all at the same time.”

“He’s not that young.” They had this argument before. Ted thought Justin was too young and too inexperienced to be head of the art department. Brian listened to everyone of Ted’s concerns and then told him to get over it. “He’s having some issues at home.”

“Who isn’t,” Ted muttered.

“What’s wrong, Ted? Did your cat run off on you? Find another sad sack?”

Ted glared at him. “Why are you my friend again?”

“You only have three, best not to start asking questions now.”

They continued to work until Brian’s cell rang. He took it outside because Ted was working on some numbers and glaring. There was no way he was about to get into another argument with him. He wished Cynthia wasn’t out picking out furniture for the office building.  At least then he would have someone on his side.

“Kinney,” he snapped before he thought better of it.

“Brian, dear.”

Just like that he was thrown back in time. A five-year-old boy, begging his mom to stay with him at night because the boogie man was going to get him. He had no idea the boogie man lived in his home at that point.

“Mother, what do I owe this displeasure?” He was proud his voice didn’t crack. He hadn’t seen her since the old man died. Then it was only for a moment, he hadn’t brought the boys to the funeral. They didn’t know him, there was no need for them to be there.

“I need to see you, Brian. It’s important.”

He thought about telling her he had been important, but she didn’t give a damn about that. She let her husband beat him and Claire like they were grown men. No, he wouldn’t bring that up, he understood she was just as much of a victim. But she was the adult, they weren’t.

“Sure. Still in the old house?”

“Yes.” She sounded older and more tired than he ever had heard her before.

“Alright, I’ll be there in thirty. But I’m only free for a little while.”

Brian grabbed his keys, let Ted know he was going out and headed to his car. He couldn’t believe he was doing this, it was idiotic. She had this way about her, just like his dad. Even if he thought he was beyond them hurting him, they found another way.

It was halfway to his mom’s when he saw a familiar piece of junk on the side of the road. The hood was up, and smoke was coming from it. He pulled over into a parking lot and made his way over to Justin’s car.

“Problem?” he asked.

Justin raised his head up and banged it on the hood. “Damnit.” He looked at Brian. “What are you doing here?”

“Just passing through and saw your stunning car here. So, what’s the matter with it?”

“I’m no expert but I believe the term is ‘fucked up’. I don’t know, my guess is I have to get it towed and find out that it’s a fortune to fix.”

“Call the tow truck. Lucky for you, your boss lives next door and you can carpool. I have somewhere to be, but I’ll come right back and get you, the truck should be here by then.”

“Yeah, thanks.” He didn’t sound happy, but Brian didn’t take offence, a car is a part of independence, losing it even for a short time sucks.

His mother’s house was in bad shape. Worse than he had ever seen before. The door opened before he knocked. She looked frailer than ever. Her eyes were sunken, and she looked like she was barely standing. She was a terrible mother, but she was his mother.

“Let’s sit down, you don’t look well.”

She stumbled to the couch, a smell of alcohol and illness trailing behind her. Once she was seated, he sat on the couch’s arm. He waited for her to speak but she said nothing.

“What did you want to talk about?”

“The doctor just told me I’m going to die. Sure, he used fancy words like chances and treatment, but we know my luck doesn’t go that way. There is something important that you need to know. I can’t go to the grave with it on my conscious.”

He had never heard her speak this way, it made him scared what she was going to say.

“Go on.”

 

 

 

Justin was waiting for Brian to get back; the truck had just taken his car. He had tried to call him, but it went right to voicemail. It was just when he was thinking about getting a taxi when he saw Brian’s car coming.

Putting all the supplies he had gotten in the trunk, he got in the passenger’s side. Brian didn’t say anything, but he was clenching his jaw.

“Is everything alright?”

“Perfect. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I don’t know you just seem to be upset.”

“Well, I’m not.”

“OOOkay. Is there anything I can do?”

“A blowjob would do wonders.”

Justin could tell he wasn’t demanding one, but he also saw he wasn’t really joking.

“Pull over.”

“Why do you always have to be a drama princess,” Brian said but pulled over like Justin asked.

Once they were off the road, Justin unbuckled. “I can do a blowjob,” he said seductively.

This was so not like him, but something told him Brian really needed this. If he was being honest, he did too.

“I was joking. I don’t demand employees to blow me.” He looked a bit pissed off.

“How about a guy who’s attracted to you? Will you let him blow you?”

That was the last of the argument, Brian didn’t hesitate to push his seat back, giving Justin room to work. He just hoped he wasn’t making a huge mistake.


	10. Lies That Parents Tell

As he stood in front of the modest house, he considered running away. His palms where sweaty, he hadn’t sweaty palms since he was a pocked faced teenager. He didn’t know what he was going to say when the door opened. Before his mother told him, he thought he could never hate her more. That hadn’t been the truth, he despised her and the old man right now. He hated them and hoped they burned in hell.

Raising his hand to the door, he knocked firmly. No, he couldn’t do this, he needed to-

The door opened, and a gentle faced woman answered. She looked to be about forty.

“Can I help you?”

“Um. I was wondering if I could see Jack Kinney?”

Her eyes widened in shock. “Oh, can I ask who wants him?”

“I’m his little brother.”

When his mom had told him that she had another child between Claire and him, he was upset at the secret. When she told him why he had never met him, he was livid.

“You’re Brian,” she said, like she knew of him.

“Yes.”

“Jackie talks about you all the time.”

Now it was Brian’s turn to look surprised. “He does?”

“Yes. Anytime he meets someone new he shows them your senior year picture. Sorry I didn’t recognize you, but as you can guess the picture is quite worn.”

“I’ve never met him before, in fact I just found out he existed,” he said quietly. He felt she was judging him for not being around.

“Sadly, I’ve seen that happen. I always felt Joan was keeping something the very few times she visited. He would get so excited when she visited but then she would only be here for half an hour at most.”

He hated her even more now, he thought that wasn’t possible.

“He’s in his room. Would you like to go there or met out here? Don’t worry about Jackie, he’s never met a stranger. Everyone loves him.”

“I’ve never been around people like him.”

“People like him?” she asked. Brian wasn’t fooled, she knew what he meant.

“I just don’t want to act wrong,” he told her honestly.

“Alright, that I can accept. Treat him like a person, because he is. Treat him like an adult, because he is. Treat him like your brother…because he is. Better?”

That had not helped very much but it didn’t a little. She opened the door wide and let him in. The house was minimal, but there was a puzzle half done on a coffee table. She saw him looking.

“Jack’s roommate likes puzzles, Jack’s never been a fan.” Neither had Brian.

He followed her down a short hallway. She knocked lightly on the door. “Jackie, you have a guest.”

“Who is it?”

She smiled at Brian and looked back at the closed door. “You’ll have to open the door to see.”

The door opened, and Brian saw a man a bit shorter than himself, dark hair and eyes. He looked a lot like the old pictures his mom had of his dad when he was younger. The only real difference was the man was wearing a shirt with Spiderman on it and he was smiling, his dad never smiled.

“Who are you?” Jack asked.

“I’m Brian, your brother,” he said, hoping he was doing what was right.

 

Jack couldn’t believe what he was hearing and seeing. Brian was here. Mom said Brian couldn’t ever come with her, he was too busy. Dad wouldn’t let Brian come see him in the home, Mom said it wasn’t good for Brian or Claire. Jack understood, he hated it there. There was always too many people and not enough activities like here. When he lived there, he had to share a room with a lot of others. He didn’t like it much, he got picked on a lot. Sometimes he didn’t move fast enough and Eddie, one of the men who worked there, would shove him. He told his Mom once when she came to visit but she said he should try and listen more. It wasn’t until his dad came to visit and he told him. The last time he saw the mean helper he had a black eye. Jack wondered what happened to him, he just knew he never worked in the home again.

Something touched his hand, making him pay attention again. Mary was always saying his mind wandered around like a runaway train. Looking up, he saw Mary smiling at him. He didn’t look at the man again, he was shy. After all this time meeting Brian, he didn’t want to do something stupid and scare him off. Mom was always saying he did stupid stuff. Dad said it was because he wasn’t born perfect and she couldn’t handle it. He didn’t know what that meant, but he guessed it was true. His dad never lied to him, always told him the truth. He wondered why he hadn’t come to see him in a long time. Mom said it was because he didn’t love him anymore but that wasn’t true. He was his dad’s little Scotch. His mom didn’t like that name, but Dad said he wouldn’t be here without it. He also told him he wouldn’t be like it was without Mom’s brandy. Mom didn’t like that joke, but Jack did…even if he didn’t get it.

“Aren’t you going to say anything, Jackie?” Mary asked him.

He guessed he was being rude.

“You’ve never been here before,” he blurted out to his brother.

Brian was quiet for a moment, just when Jack thought he wasn’t going to say anything, he did. “I’m sorry.”

Jack didn’t want Brian to be sorry, he might not come back if he is. “That’s alright. Don’t be sorry be silly.” He smiled to let his brother know he wasn’t mad.

“I’ll leave you two boys alone to get to know each other. Jackie, give me a holler if you need anything,” Mary said before leaving the room.

“Do you prefer being called Jackie?” his brother asked.

“No, I hate it. Only Mary calls me that, I think she does it to make me give her ‘the glare’.”

Brian smiled, he had a nice smile. “What’s ‘the glare’?”

“Well, you got to scrunch up your nose, then look at the person real hard. That’s ‘the glare’.”

“I hope I’m never on the receiving end of that.”

“Never, you and Claire are my brother and sister. I would never glare at you guys. Or Mom and Dad. Oh. Oh. Oh. Can you call Dad and ask him to visit? He hasn’t come in a long time. Mom said he doesn’t feel like coming anymore. And can you see if Claire will come? I’d like to meet her too.”

He didn’t understand it, but his brother looked sick all of the sudden. Maybe he ate something bad, that’s what happened before he gets a bellyache. “Are you alright?”

“That Bitch,” Brian snapped.

“Language,” he said, copying how his mom says it. Him and Mary always laugh at it. Mary said as long as he was respectful and didn’t talk that way in front of children and strangers, he could talk any way he liked in his own home. She said he cussed like a sailor. He hoped like Popeye, he was his favorite sailor. Captain Jack Sparrow second but he was a pirate so maybe that didn’t count. Brian didn’t laugh though.

“Don’t be mad. You don’t have to tell them. Maybe I can write them a letter. I can do it on paper or the computer. Mary taught me how to write my friends using email.

Brian shook his head. “It’s not that, I’ll be right back.” Then he left, leaving Jack confused.

 

He was so angry he could kill. “He doesn’t know Pop and Claire are dead?” he asked, his voice hard.

The woman blinked owlishly at him and it occurred to him, she didn’t know either. How could she not know?

“What do you mean? His father sends him presents for his birthday and Christmas.”

“When was the last time he got a present?”

“A few months ago, for his birthday.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, the old man has been dead for years.”

She sighed. “I thought it was something like that when he didn’t show up for his regular visits. But then presents started coming and I thought he just moved or convinced myself of that. Maybe I didn’t want to know the truth.”

“What do you mean his regular visits”

She blinked at him looked nervous. “Ever since Jackie’s been out of the state home, your father visited him twice a month. He would come get him take him out for lunch, make a day of it. In fact, that’s what he did when he was in that place too.”

“None of this makes sense. Why didn’t they keep him?”

She sighed. “Go sit down at the table. Let me make sure Jackie’s alright then we’ll talk.”

He sat in the small kitchen, waiting for her to come back. The kitchen also didn’t have much as far as stuff. Even he had more lying around than they did in here.

“He’s watching Pirates of the Caribbean. He loves those movies. Alright. Ask away, I’ll answer what I can.”

“Are you allowed to do that?”

She walked over to the cabinet and opened it. He saw several fat binders in it. She pulled out one with Jack’s name on the spine. She opened it and found the page she wanted. “This is Jack’s health passport. Besides Joan and Jack, well now Joan, you are his only living relative. You’ve always been on his paperwork. I always thought you knew. Anyway, because of this, you have permission to know anything about his medical and personal life.”

“Alright. Do you know why he’s like the way he is? I mean…I don’t know what I mean.”

She patted his hand. “I know what you mean. Your brother was born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Have you ever heard of it?”

He nodded. Yes, he had. It was the fear he had since his mother had told him about Jack. “I don’t know much about it though.”

“He has partial FAS, so he doesn’t have as many markers but its there. He’s having a good day. Bad days he can barely control his limbs. He’s has a mild form of mental retardation. If you’re looking for an age function, I really can’t give you that. According to paperwork, it’s ten. But he’s so much more than numbers and charts. He doesn’t let any of that stand in his way though. He’s a fighter.”

“Why was he given to the state home?”

“That I can’t really answer. I’ve heard three different stories, I’m sure it’s in the middle somewhere. What I’ve put together best I can as the truth, when he was born, everything was fine for the first little while. But he couldn’t feed right, he cried all the time, they knew something wasn’t right. He was diagnosed just after two months old. Your mother couldn’t stand that people would look at her and know it was her fault. Your father wanted to keep the baby and fuck who cared. In the end, she won. They told people the baby died and never to talk about him again. In that day and age, people thought it was best to take the baby to state homes. It was an ugly time in our history, out of sight out of mind with children they thought were defective. I can honestly say your father had a better relationship with him. You mother never took the time to know him. I don’t think she ever really saw him as a person.”

“My father did that?” That didn’t sound right. “My father was an abusive drunk.”

“I’m sure he was, but he did love Jack. In fact, just a year before we stopped seeing him, he started talking about forcing a divorce. He wanted his own place, so he could have Jackie move in with him. Jackie’s heart was broken when he stopped coming around. As for your sister, I did know about her. Your mother made me keep my mouth shut about that. She had already been gone by the time I started here.”

“What will happen to him after my mom dies?”

“Nothing. He’ll still be here, living life to the fullest, just missing her. If you don’t take over conservator, a judge will appoint one.”

He had a lot more to talk to his mother about. He needed to give it a few days or he would lose it on her.

Brian heard the door down the hall open and waited. Soon Jack was walking into the kitchen. He looked at his brother, Jack looked nervous.

“What is it, Jackie?” Mary asked.

“I was wondering if Brian wanted to watch Pirates of the Caribbean with me? It just started.”

“I would like that. I haven’t seen it in a while.”

“Oh, you’ll like it again. I promise. I’m going to go get the DVD and we can watch in the living room on the big TV. OK, Mary?”

“That’s fine. I won’t bother you two men.”

Jack laughed and ran back to his room. There was no way he could cut his new brother out of his life. He had come to get answers but all he had was more questions. That wasn’t on Jack though. All he had to do now was figure out how to tell him that their sister and dad were dead. He would have to talk to his…their mom first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I'm caught up to where I'm still writing. The next chapter should be up in the next few days.


	11. Two Envelopes

After leaving his brother’s house, he headed to the diner. That felt weird even thinking. He never had a brother before, the closest he had was Michael. He had planned a day to take Jack out on Saturday. The plan was to introduce him to his kids and have a good time. All he had to do now is get better kids. Today, Gus had baseball practice, John had student government, so Peter was with Debbie until he was able to pick him up. It felt like forever since he had time to just go to the diner. He decided on his way there he and Peter would eat there. John and Gus could have last night’s leftovers.

The place was busy, not that he was surprised, it was late evening after all. He spotted his youngest right away, he was sitting at the back table with Michael and Ben’s youngest son, Brad. They were laughing and seemed to be talking animatedly, he decided to not crowd him. As he thought about taking a seat at the counter, something caught his eye. He noticed Justin and his children sitting at a table. It had been easy to miss them, the small family were surrounded by the crew from Diana’s, a strip club that specialized in drag queens. With their group, it was hard to notice anyone else.

Going with the spur of the moment, he slid into the booth beside Justin. Mika and Nanette were on the other side.

“Fancy meeting you here,” he said to the kids.

“Brian!” Nanette yelled as she shimmied out of the seat and ran over to him. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” he said, looking over catching Justin’s eye.

They hadn’t spoken since he dropped him off after the spectacular blowjob days before. He wasn’t sure what had changed Justin’s mind but wasn’t complaining. He was confused because he expected Justin to try something later. That hadn’t happened. Most men he had been with begged for another try. Maybe it had been because he didn’t get to exercise his expertise. Whatever the reason, he had been busy finding Jack because while his mother told him about him, she didn’t give an address or anything.

“Nan, come sit back down,” Justin told Nanette. Nanette crawled under the table and got back into her seat.

“So, what are you doing today?” he asked.

“Having dinner here then going home.” Justin looked distracted but Brian knew better than to ask about it in front of his children. “What about you?”

“Same. Both John and Gus are busy this afternoon. Thought me and Peter would get some dinner.”

Justin looked over to where Peter was sitting. “He’s not sitting with you.”

“Just wait, you’ll have teenagers soon enough. As crazy as they made me, I miss when they were Nan and Mika’s age. I was the coolest person they knew.”

“Well, I’d trade projectile vomit for eye-rolling any day. They still get car sick if we drive too far.”

“Sorry, that doesn’t stop either.” He had lost so many shoes and designer clothes to the boys and their vomit along with other things best not to talk about.

He caught Kiki’s attention and ordered his regular, telling her would pay for both his table and Peter’s.

“You don’t have to do that, Brian.”

Brian looked at Mika. “Hey, kid, what’s your favorite color?”

“Green.”

“Girl kid?” Looking at Nan.

“Orange.”

“Alright, that’s a focus group to me. I’ll just write it off.” He smirked at Justin.

“If you’re always going to be that creative with the books maybe you should warn Mr. Schmidt.”

Brian laughed at anyone calling Ted that. “I think he’ll live.”

Debbie came over carrying Justin and the kids order. “Dad can we sit with Peter,” Mika asked.

Justin looked shocked for a moment, that confused Brian. Little kids loved hanging out with older ones, it made them feel grown up. “You have to ask him and his friend if it’s alright.”

“Damn straight its alright,” Debbie said, walking over and putting Mika and Nan’s plates at the table with Peter and Brad.

Brian laughed at his son’s face, he was shocked but quickly accepted he was at the kids table.

“Brian?”

Kiki had just dropped of his sandwich. Debbie seemed too busy to do more than look at him curiously.  

“What?” Brian asked, picking at the dry looking sandwich.

“I was wondering…what happened the other night?”

“I found out my bitch of a mother had a child in between Claire and me. Looks like she drank more than she did with us, too much. He was born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. They put him in a state home, he grew up there. Why couldn’t they keep him? I know it’s childish to think, but maybe the old man hit us all the time because something was missing from him…Jack. When the lady who helps Jack talked about my dad, it sounded like she was talking about someone else.”

“I’m sorry. That’s a terrible way to find out. Have you met him?”

Brian smiled. “Yeah, taking him out on Saturday.”

“That’s great.”

“Now your turn, Sunshine?”

“What?”

“Why have you been in such a mood lately?”

“Oh, that…I don’t really feel like talking about it.”

Brian snorted. “I spilled my guts, you start spilling.”

“I had a friend over the other day. He really was Ethan’s friend, we never really got along. But after I lost Ethan, he really stepped up for us. He dropped a pretty devastating bomb. Ethan, my Ethan, was a lying, cheating, deceiving fucker. Cheating on me, I think I could get over, even if it hurt. But he had his bit on the side provide the sperm for IVF. My children now could be taken away from me by Tara and Carter.”

“Hell. Did you get the results back yet?” Brian asked.

“No.”

* * *

 

“Yes.” Justin’s head snapped up and he looked at his sister. She was holding two envelopes in her hands.  _No. No. No._

She set them on the table, his appetite leaving him. He didn’t want to open the envelopes. Once he did, it was over. All over.

“We’re here for you,” Molly said, sitting down at the table.

“I can’t do it. You do it,” he said, pushing them towards Brian.

“Are you sure?”

Justin nodded.

Brian grabbed one and opened it, Justin’s heart was beating out of control. It felt like it was going to crack him open.

“It’s Nan’s. Percentage 99.99 match. She’s yours.”

“Thank God,” Molly said, tears coming from her eyes. All Justin could do was nod.

Brian opened the last envelope. “Fuck.”

“What?”

“He’s yours!” Brian said, sounding shocked.

“What? He can’t be.” For four years he’s known Mika wasn’t his biological child, it didn’t matter though.

“Sorry to break it to you, both of them are yours,” Brian said, Justin could see how relieved he was behind his smirk.

“Let me see that,” Justin said, snatching to paper from Brian.

Looking over it, he saw just want Brian did. 99.99 percent, just like Nan’s. Well, his grandmother on his dad’s side had dark hair and eyes, and he had no idea about Tara’s family. Tears starting to stream down his face, this was not something he considered.

Suddenly there were two little children trying to climb beside him. “Why are you crying?” Mika asked, patting Justin’s face.

“Are you sad?” Nanette asked.

“No, I’m not said. I’m crying because I’m so happy.”

For the first time since this fight started with Tara, he felt like he had a chance now.


	12. Saturday

The second talk with his mother had  been worse than the first. She told him everything. She had gotten pregnant with Claire and his dad had to marry her, this he already knew. When Claire was six months old, she found out she was pregnant again. His father wasn’t an alcoholic then, he drank on occasion but not to excess and wasn’t violent. When he found out she was pregnant, he had been excited, maybe a little boy this time. Mom couldn’t handle all the stress of being a mother and pregnant again, his father was barely there because he was working.

She didn’t know what drinking during her pregnancy would do, at least that’s what she said. When Jack Jr. was born, his dad had been over the moon. When they realized something was wrong, she and the doctor pushed for him to go to the state home. Their dad was against it, wanted to keep him. Even so much that he had asked a lawyer if he got divorced could he keep Jack. The lawyer said there was no way that he would be granted custody, even when his mom didn’t want it.

So, they put the baby in the state home and drove away. That’s when his dad started to drink heavily, she said they hadn’t been together since the baby was born. But one night, he was drunk and the next thing she knew she was pregnant again. That was the reason he wanted her to get an abortion, because he knew she couldn’t stop drinking. He was sure another baby would be taken away from him, so he made him a promise, never to get attached to Brian. And as far as Brian was concerned, the man kept that promise until the day he died. It was luck that Brian wasn’t born the same as Jack, his mom said herself she still drank. It was less but she said she couldn’t function without it. The old man was an abusive asshole, that was on himself. But now there was a part of Brian that understood a little bit of him.

Brian had all his boys sitting down, they looked worried. It was Friday and tomorrow he would be picking up Jack and spending the day with him. Mary wasn’t going with them so he was nervous he would mess it up. His first big hurtle was to get his boys on board. They were teenagers and said stupid things sometimes. It was important to get all the questions and insensitive remarks out of the way today.

He walked away that day telling her that he wanted her to sign over Jack’s guardianship to him. He wouldn’t take no for an answer, Jack had never been her priority, he didn’t think it would change now.

He paced in front of his leather couch were all three boys sat. They were watching him closely. Finally, he took a seat on the chaise.

“What’s going on?” John asked.

“I went to see your grandmother earlier in the week. She sick and decided it was time to tell me about my brother.”

“Brother? You don’t have a brother,” Gus said, brows lowered.

“Yes, I do.” He then went about telling them about their uncle. There were the questions he was expecting.  ** _What’s wrong with him?_**  Nothing, he’s just different.  ** _Do we have to see him?_**  No, but I will be, and I would like for you to get to know him also.  ** _Can he talk good?_**  Better than you.  ** _Is he nice?_**  Very much so.  ** _Does he look like you?_**  A little.  ** _When can we meet him?_**  Tomorrow.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Why don’t you have something to drink?” Mary asked him.

Jack couldn’t though, he was too nervous. Brian was supposed to come over and get him. Then they were going to meet his nephews and then meet some of Brian’s friends. Mary had helped him buy a new outfit for the outing. When he met Brian, he noticed how dressed up he was, he wanted his brother to be proud of him too. That’s why he didn’t want to wear any of his t-shirts today. Mary helped him pick out a red shirt with long sleeves, he liked it because it felt smooth. Then they picked out black dress pants.

“When is he supposed to be here? Maybe he changed his mind,” Jack said worriedly as he looked out of the window.

“He didn’t change his mind, he’s not supposed to be here for another fifteen minutes. Remember, we talked to him this morning. The boys are excited to meet you. He just had some errands to run before coming here.”

“And I get to spend the whole day with him?”

“Yep, he said he’ll have you back before you usually go to bed.”

“Well, it’s the weekend so I don’t have to go to the center tomorrow. That means I stay up later; did you tell him?”

“Yes, he knows.”

He was glad, on weekdays he went to the day center then to work, but today wasn’t a weekday. That meant he got to stay up as long as he wanted.

As he was about to move away from the window, he saw a really cool looking car pull up in front of the house. “What kind of car is that?” he asked Mary, pointing to the car his brother was getting out of, he had never seen one like it.

“Holy shit,” she cursed. “That’s my darlin’ is a Corvette Stingray, my guess is ’71.” Mary knew a lot about cars, her dad owned a car junkyard. She was raised working on cars.

“He’s going to take me in that? What if I make a mess?”

“Then you’ll help him clean it.”

Sometimes his body didn’t listen to his brain and spasmed. He couldn’t control when it happened, sometimes he knocked things over. The really embarrassing times he couldn’t hold his pee. At the home they would get upset with him for it, saying he did it on purpose. It wasn’t the truth though.

Brian knocked on the door, getting his attention away from sadder thoughts.

Mary opened the door, revealing Brian, he had sunglasses on. Maybe he should get his sunglasses. “I’ll be right back,” he said before running to his room.

His glasses weren’t as nice as Brian’s, but they kept the sun out of his eyes and that kept his headaches down. It was silly of him not to bring them in the first place. They had a cord around them so all he had to do was put it over his head and he wouldn’t lose them.

 

 

 

* * *

 

Brian smiled at his brother’s enthusiasm about his car. Not to brag but it was a nice one…who was he kidding he loved to brag. He could also tell Jack was a bit nervous but was trying to downplay it.

“Where are we going?”

Brian smiled at him. “First, we’re going to the diner for breakfast, you haven’t eaten yet, right?”

“Nope, even when my stomach rumbled, I knew to wait.”

“Good deal. The boys are already there waiting for us, so are some of my friends. I hope that isn’t too much for you.” It worried him that he was throwing too much at Jack too fast.

“Why would it be too much?” Jack’s eyes narrowed slightly. First real sign he was his brother, good to know.

“No reason. The oldest is John by a month, he’s turning sixteen later this month. Next is Gus, he’ll be sixteen next month. The youngest is Peter, he’s thirteen.”

“How do you have two the same age?”

He was planning on telling Jack tonight about Claire and their dad. The boys knew not to bring it up and to change subjects if he brought them up. But he wouldn’t lie and wouldn’t have his children lie.

“Can I tell you everything tonight? Some of it’s hard to hear and I don’t want to put a damper on today.”

“Alright, but you promise to tell?”

Brian smiled at him. “I promise.”

As they walked into the diner, everyone turned to see. Debbie had closed the diner to anyone that wasn’t invited. That meant only his friends were around, which is what he wanted.

Michael and Debbie were the first to come over to them. “You must be Jack? It’s so good to meet you. I’m Michael, Brian’s best friend,” Mikey said, holding out his hand.

Jack smiled easily and shook Michael’s hand. “Nice to meet you too.”

“And I’m Debbie, Michael’s mom. I’ve known your brother since he was fourteen, I wish I would’ve known about you. Doesn’t matter though, you’re one of us now.”

Jack stuck his hand out, but it was pushed away as she wrapped him up in a huge hug. Brian smiled as Jack looked at him with pleading eyes. “Sorry, you’re part of the family. That means Debbie will mother hen you whether you like it or not.”

He introduced him to everyone there, Ted invited Blake which bothered him. Ted and Blake had an on again off again love story that mostly consisted of Ted being taken advantage. HE knew Blake was clean now but there was something that always bothered him about the younger man.

Brian had started to believe that Brian and the kids wouldn’t show up, but they arrived about twenty minutes later. Looking over he saw Jack talking with Peter, he had a huge grin on his face.

“I see your worries were unfounded,” Justin said as the kids ran off to join Peter.

“I guess it was. You can’t blame me though, it was a big risk.”

They sat down in a booth away from all the goings on. They watched everyone talk and had a good time. It was like a piece of him was back, one he had no idea he didn’t have. Family. Family that wanted him.

“He looks a lot like you,” Justin said, grabbing Brian’s right hand. It startled him but he did his best not to show it. They hadn’t had any real contact since the impromptu blowjob.

“A little, I suppose. How does it feel knowing they both are yours?” Brian asked, changing subject.

“Unbelievable. I had gotten so used to the idea Mika wasn’t my blood. Now I worry that that caused me to treat him differently. Not bad but different. I always treated him like I thought Ethan would want. Then I find out my whole life with Ethan had been a lie. Maybe the reason Mika is so difficult sometimes is because of how I treated him.”

This was finally something he could help with. “Peter wet the bed until he was seven. I thought it was because I didn’t connect to him like I did Gus and John. That he was lacking in the parenting I had given the other two. That wasn’t it though, he had sleep apnea, we had his adenoids and tonsils removed, he hasn’t had any problem since then. What I’m saying, kids are different. Also, don’t ignore bed wetting if it happens. I’ve gone through the ‘do I treat Gus different from John and Peter, the answer is yes. But it’s not because he’s my biological child, its because they are all very different children. Just like Nanette and Mika are different.”

Justin gave him a slight smile before his face paled. Brian turned around to see what he was looking at. Brian saw Blake and Ted behind him but there wasn’t any thing else. He wondered what Justin saw that upset him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Justin stood up, he needed to get out of there. Before he could think of an excuse Blake’s dark grey eyes locked on him. “I-I need a breather; can you keep an eye on the kids?” he asked.

“Sure,” Brian said, he looked confused, but Justin needed to get out of there before he lost his own breakfast.

Cool air hit his face, he sucked in as much air as he could get. He got away from the diner, sure that he couldn’t be seen. He heard the door open behind him, he didn’t need to turn around to know the traitor had followed him out.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Blake snapped, grabbing Justin’s arm and turning him around.

“I was invited by Brian, my new boss. Blake, why are you here?”

His eyes were cool looking at Justin. It was the first time Justin had even seen him not high or jonesing for his next fix. At one time they were sort of friends. He had meet him a little before he met Ethan. Blake showed him where to get cheap or free food. He needed all the help he could get, he didn’t want to rely on Daphne more than he was. That was when he got mixed up with Dino, he didn’t know he was a drug pusher. They started dating and he really liked him. But then he met Ethan, he had to choose between the two. It was Dino’s temper that made the choice for him. It would have gotten worse if Ethan hadn’t done what he did. Justin had waited years for the repercussions of Ethan getting Dino locked up to happen…it never did.

“I’m dating Ted, I have been for most of eight years. I’m surprised you have enough balls to show your face in Pittsburgh after what you did.”

Justin laughed bitterly. “I never left. It was Dino that did. Fifteen to life if memory serves.” He sounded a lot stronger than he felt. As much as he hated to admit it, Dino still meant something to him. When everything went down, he thought Dino was going to have him and Ethan killed.

“You really are that stupid, aren’t you?”

“After what Dino tried to do to me? If it wasn’t for Ethan he would have succeeded.”

Blake laughed, it chilled Justin. “Dino was obsessed with you. I could never figure out why. I’m going back in.” He turned and started walking back to the diner. “Oh, by the way, Dino’s conviction was overturned. All they had was the drug charges because you didn’t want to testify. Cops dirtied up the arrest. He’s been out for years, I’m sure he’ll be glad you’re still around.”


	13. Drugs

Justin had put the kids to bed, he needed to figure out what to do. There was two ways to go; run or talk to Dino. Running wasn’t really an option. He didn’t have the money and if he did Tara could say he was kidnapping the kids. He only really had one choice, met with Dino. There was no way Blake wouldn’t tell him, even if he was no longer into the scene.

He should have known that everything was going too well. The other shoe was always going to drop. Now he had to protect his children. Just as he was planning his next move, the doorbell rang. His heart jumped in his throat, if it was Dino then he was probably going to kill him. Why else come this soon?

He peeked out the window and saw that it was Brian’s youngest son. What was he doing here so late? Opening the door, the boy looked even more nervous than he usually looked.

“Peter, what are you doing here so late?”

“I was wondering if…if I could talk to you?”

“Sure, come in. Does your dad know you’re here?”

“No, he’s working late. He does that a lot now.” The kid looked down at his sneakers. Justin noticed how old they were, Peter’s feet were busting out of the shoes.

“It’s hard work getting a business up and running. What was it that you needed?”

“I-I d-don’t know how to start,” the boy stuttered.

“Listen, let’s calm down. Would you like something to drink? How about tea?”

The boy looked down at his shoes again. “Do you have any hot chocolate?”

Justin smiled. “Marshmallows or no?”

“Marshmallows, please.” He was such a polite little guy.

Justin went about making some hot chocolate, no instant crap in his home. His kids were a little picky when it came their comfort items. The boy sat silently at the table; Justin wondered what was so important that he needed to talk to someone he didn’t know very well. The chocolate was done, and he grabbed the marshmallows.

“We only have the big ones; I hope that’s alright?”

“I like them the best,” the boy smiled shyly.

They drank in silence for a while, Justin was letting the boy go at his own pace.

“Did you meet my Uncle Jack?”

“I did. He’s really nice.”

“I think so too; John and Gus don’t really know what to think of him, but I like him.”

“That’s good.”

“I got into the summer program, did Dad tell you?”

“No, that’s great. You’ll learn a lot if you try.”

“Yeah.” Alright so it wasn’t about his uncle or the program. What else could it be? School? Girls? Boys? Brian? “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Have you ever taken drugs?”

Oh hell, could he tap out now? This was so much above what he thought he’d be asked.

“Shouldn’t you be talking to your father about this?” The boy shook his head, looking at his half-empty cup. “Ok, yeah, in college I smoked pot but that was all I ever did.”

“My dad did too, he told us before because he wanted to be honest. He said he did stronger stuff too, but I don’t remember it all. How much drugs to you have to take to be addicted?”

“It’s not a certain amount. It’s when they need the drug just to function in their mind. I’m not really an expert in this field.”

“I don’t want him to get addicted,” Peter said quietly.

“Who?”

“My brother.”

Justin took a shot, the one that was always so angry and giving Brian so much problems lately. “Gus?”

Peter shocked him when he shook his head. “No, John, he says he doesn’t have a problem but he’s not like he used to be. I found this in his room,” the boy said before putting a small bag on the table. It reminded Justin of kits that people with diabetes kept. He opened it and closed his eyes. It was a kit for intravenous use, he couldn’t be sure, but he was pretty sure it was for drugs like Peter thought. Oh, god, what was he going to do?

“Where did you get this?”

“I found it in his room.”

“We have to tell your dad.” This wasn’t something they could just hoped got better. The boy’s shoulders sagged but he nodded. “Let me ask Molly to listen for the littles and I’ll walk you back over and we’ll talk to him together.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Brian was just pulling into his garage when he noticed Justin walking over with Peter. It was late but not past his bedtime, he wondered what Peter was doing with him. He shut his garage door and went into the kitchen through the connecting door.

It wasn’t long until he heard the door and muffled voices. “Peter?” he yelled just loud enough to be heard from the kitchen.

“Hi Dad, how was work?”

“Fine, would have been better if my Art Director didn’t call out sick today,” he said, annoyance in his voice.

Justin at least had the decency to look abashed. It seemed he was on edge ever since the weekend. That wasn’t Brian’s problem though, what was his problem was that his son wasn’t making eye contact with him. He was looking down at his feet. Brian cringed when he saw him wearing shoes he had already outgrown. He had gotten him nice shoes just two weeks ago, but the kid complained they were too showy. God help him from his introverted son.

“Sorry about that. I’ll be at work bright and early in the morning. That’s not why I’m here though. Do you want to tell him or do I?” Justin asked, looking at the top of Peter’s head.

“Could you? Then it wouldn’t be like I was telling.”

Justin rolled his eyes. “Peter found this in his brother’s room,” Justin said, handing over a little black zippered pouch.

“What is this?” he asked as he opened it. His heart sunk as he saw the needles and syringe. There were some other things like sterilizing wipes but those were the big things. Why would his child need this?”

“Gus?” he asked, his voice rough. Of course, it would be Gus, he was always giving him problems. Too much like himself.

“John,” Justin said. Brian couldn’t be more shocked if Justin would have said it was Nanette’s.

“Are you sure?” Not that he wanted it to be Gus, but this was so very unlike John.

Peter nodded his head. “I found it when I was looking to my sketchbook, he and Gus stole from me. It wasn’t in Gus’ room, so I looked in John’s. This was in a box under his bed with some other stuff.

“What other stuff?”

“I don’t know.”

“Thanks for bringing this to my attention, Justin. Peter go on up to your room.”

“Are you alright?” Justin asked as Peter ran upstairs.

“Ask me tomorrow, night.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Cut that shit out, if Dad finds out you’re dead,” John told Gus. They were in Gus’ room, but John was thinking about going back to his. Lately Gus was getting on his nerves more and more. He always seemed to think he was the only one getting harassed by assholes at school. He was at least a jock, only real idiots picked on him. He didn’t know what it was like to be the brain getting it from all sides. The ‘woe is me’ stuff was getting a little tired.

“Shut up,” Gus said. His cigarette smoke was making John sick.

Knocking at the door made them both jump up. Gus put the cigarette out and hid the ashtray under his bed. John grabbed the air fresher and sprayed until they both couldn’t breathe. “Open up,” their dad demanded.

John hesitated but finally opened the door. Once their dad walked in, they knew they weren’t successful covering up the smell. “What’s going on?” he asked his dad.

“Nothing except this room smells like cigarettes and sandalwood. Not a great mix, I gotta tell you.” He looked at Gus. “I’ll deal with you later. First, John, I need to talk to you in my office, now.”

That was bad…really bad. He only made them come to the office when they really fucked up. John looked at Gus, but he looked just as shocked as he was. Cigarettes were bad but this was a bit much. Hell, he hadn’t even been the one smoking.

Once he stepped into his dad’s office he wanted to turn around and run away. It wasn’t that he was scared of his dad, he just hated when he was disappointed in him.

“Sit,” his dad said, pointing at his couch.

“What’s this about?”

“I SAID SIT!” his father yelled. He sat and started to rethink never being afraid of him.

His dad started pacing in front of him, his hands kept balling up and then releasing. It was almost like his dad was fighting to control his temper. That never happened before, his dad wasn’t a saint, but he’d never seen him this angry before.

“Dad?”

“I’m not ready to speak to you yet.”

John wondered if he was allowed to play on his phone while his dad lost his ever-loving mind. His dad smoked every once in a while; he didn’t see the big deal. He smelled pot on him when he came home after going out with Uncle Mikey before. At least it wasn’t pot in the house, right?

“I have one question, and you better answer it truthfully. Are you using drugs?”

John blinked at his father, trying to process the question. Drugs? He had smoked pot a couple of times. Was that what all this was about? Some puffs on a joint at a party here and there.

“A few times. It’s not a big deal.”

“It’s a very big deal. You think shooting up isn’t a big deal? What in the fuck were you thinking?” he roared.

“Shooting up? I was talking about pot. Who said I’ve been shooting up?”

His dad stalked back to his desk, opened the top drawer and brought out a familiar black pouch. Oh fuck, this is what that was about? That was in his room though, that meant his dad snooped in his room. Talk about invasion of privacy.

“That was in my room. You were snooping?”

“No, Elisa found it while she cleaned. Now, what do you have to say for yourself?”

“I’m sorry you don’t trust me. I’m sorry you jump to conclusions instead asking me in a calm, respectful voice. I’m sorry you are a hypocrite. You barely pay any attention to me and now when you do it’s because you think I’m some druggie? Peter’s the baby and needs extra attention. Gus is your real son and you care about him more, I get it. Sometimes it sucks to be the extra kid.”

He watched his father’s jaw tick. It was a tell he had that he was going to yell. But funnily enough, he didn’t even care anymore. His dad thought he was a drug user and didn’t really care about the truth. Standing up, he turned on his heal to leave.

“Don’t you dare walk out that door.”

“FYI, I give B-12 injections for people too scared to use needles on themselves. They’re all adults and know the risks. I always keep my kit near, and a new needle in case someone calls. Don’t believe me, call Michael or Ted or Emmett. Also, go fuck yourself.” He slammed the door behind him. Fuck him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Brian stood there stunned at his son’s words and attitude. He had never felt closer to him than that moment. The thing with John, he may be pissed off at him but after he blows up, he’s done. Life goes on, unlike Gus. Of course, he’s never told him to go fuck himself. Maybe he should be mad about the mouth on him, but he never wanted his kids to not speak truthfully to him. He’d have to fix this ‘extra kid’ thoughts he was having.  

Fucking B-12 injections. He should have guessed it was something like that. John had never been secretive or jumpy, he was also just John. Maybe that had been his problem, he always just treated him like an extension of Gus because they were always together. John is a completely different person; he would straighten it out with him in the morning. For now, he was just going to bask in the fact that his child wasn’t a drug user. Well, except for some pot, that he didn’t know how to handle really because to punished him so long after the fact would be stupid, and John was right it would be hypocritical of him. Raising teenagers was hard, he wondered if Justin would like to trade.


	14. Dino

Brian braced himself for Hurricane John the next morning. While he knew John would get over it very quickly, the next morning was a little too soon to hope for. He did have questions. Why was the kit under his bed? Why didn’t anyone tell him? Peter had been too nervous to see John this morning, so he left early, before John and Gus woke up.

Gus came stomping down the stairs, it was too early to fight with him. But he had to bring up the smoking, he didn’t want any of his kids having his bad habits. He watched Gus pour himself cereal he bought with his own money and start to eat it dry. The boy hadn’t eaten it with milk since he was six. Brian is still sure it was out of spite because Brian asked him if he had enough milk once.

“You’re to come home straight after school tonight and for the next week. I don’t have to give you the dangers of cigarettes, but I will if you need a refresher. You need to stop this now. Alright, where’s John?”

Gus glared at him for a moment before going back to his cereal. “Don’t know, hasn’t come home yet,” he said, crunching on his fruit loops.

“What do you mean he hasn’t come home?”

“Last night after your lecture with him, he said he needed to get out for a while. He ain’t got home yet.”

Brian never thought his kids were saints, they snuck out and lied like normal teenagers, but none had been out all night. As mad as John was, he never expected this.

“What did John tell you?”

“He said you lost it over his kit.”

“You knew about it?”

“Of course.”

Brian wanted to strangle the smart mouth, but that wouldn’t help anything. “Why was it under his bed?”

“He keeps everything he doesn’t want people messing with under his bed. Damn paranoid if you ask me.”

“Why didn’t he tell me about his side job?”

“Why would he? You never care unless we’re in trouble. You only care about your baby, Kinnetik. The only time you’ve talked to us without yelling in the past few weeks was when you told us about Uncle Jack. Then there’s the neighbor that you keep trying to get in his pants.”

“I’m not trying to get in anyone’s pants, and this is about John. Where is he?”

“How should I know,” Gus said with a shrug.

“Because he tells you everything.”

“Not everything, he’s kind of been a drag lately.” Brian thought it was probably the other way around.

“Where do you think he’d go for the night?”

“Probably his girlfriend’s.”

That took the wind out of his sails, John had a girlfriend and he didn’t even know it. How had he gotten so far out of touch with his children.

“What’s her name? Where does she live? How long have they been together?”

“I don’t know anything about her just want he’s told me, even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you. Snitch get stitches and wind up in ditches.”

Brian rolled his eyes. “Can you tell me anything about her?”

“He’s super quiet about it. I don’t think he would have told me anything if I didn’t see the hickey and the condoms”

Now he had missed his son walking around with a hickey. He knew he didn’t have it last night, so it had to have been before. And condoms, at least he was being safe. No grandkids or diseases, at least something he said stuck. He would have to work on getting to know his kids again. He took it for granted that he knew his boys.

“Anything going on with you that I should know about?” Might as well ask while the kid was talking to him.

“Well, since you forbid me from dating, I’m a social piranha.”

“Pariah.”

“Whatever.”

Brian knew his son wasn’t stupid but sometimes it was hard not to think it. It was like as soon as the hormones started the brains were shut off. The only real plus was he was getting most of it over with at once. He had a feeling Peter was going to be a late bloomer, which he was glad for, he wanted his son to stay the sweet little boy he’s always been for as long as possible.

Gus left for school not long after. Brian waited for school to start then called to make sure John was in class, he was. He sent John a text to come home straight after school, they needed to talk…again. Hopefully his son wasn’t that much like him, if it was him, he’d take off for a week. Of course, he had been scared of his father.

As he drove to work his phone rang.

“Kinney,” he answered without looking at the caller ID.

“Brian.”

“Hey Mikey, what’s up?”

“Ma’s planning a family dinner. She wanted me to call you and make sure you and the boys can come.”

“When?” He really didn’t want to go but Hell hath no fury like Debbie Horvath denied.

“Friday night. She already called Mary and invited her and Jack.”

Of course, she did. Now that they knew about him, Jack wasn’t getting out of any of the family get togethers. Whether he wanted to or not. It was a good thing; he didn’t ever want Jack to feel left out again. It wasn’t that he had a good childhood, but it wasn’t in a facility.

“Fine, we’ll be there. Even if I have to make them.” Which he would.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The apartment building was in a rough part of town. He didn’t feel very safe, but he hadn’t been since he ran into Blake. Getting to Dino before Blake could tell him where to find him was the smart move. The elevator was out of order, so he took the stairs. There was a smell in the hallway, it was a strong stench of fish.

He stood in front of the door for a full minute, trying to talk himself into knocking.

“Just knock,” he told himself.

“Talking to yourself now?”

Justin jumped and turned around, facing Dino the first time in years. He looked good, maybe a little more tired looking than before. He was wearing a tight blue t-shirt and khaki pants. Not a bad look for him.

“Dino, how are you?”

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to you. Can we go inside?”

Dino shook his head. “Don’t think Tommy would like that, he can be a jealous little fucker when he wants. Come on, let’s get something to drink.”

Justin followed Dino quietly, old feelings resurfaced. Fear and longing, both tied together like they were meant to be. He knew that wasn’t true but while Ethan had been gentle and safe, Dino had been rough and dangerous, when he was nineteen it was very alluring. It was still a little alluring, damn him.

They stopped outside of a rundown bar, looking at the hours, he saw it was closed. Before he could say anything, Dino pulled out his keys and unlocked it.

“Is this your bar?”

“Yeah, mine and Tommy’s, we’re still fixing up the exterior, but Tommy has gutted the interior and completely redid it.”

Justin’s jaw dropped when they walked into the place. It wasn’t anything like he was expecting. It was beautiful, the bar stools and bar itself was chrome and black. There were beautiful paintings on the walls, there was something familiar about them but he couldn’t place it. They were beautiful, bright and a wonderful contrast to the darkness of the furniture and walls.

“Who did the art?” he asked.

“Tommy did…figures I would fall for another artist. He tried to get in to PIFA but was rejected. He didn’t need some stupid degree to be amazing though.”

Justin didn’t know if that was a dig at him or PIFA. It didn’t matter, lots of artists never stepped foot in a college, for art or not. You either had talent or you didn’t. It had taken him this long in life to be alright where he was in life. He had the degree, but it didn’t make him a better artist, it did however get him a job. At least he hoped it was his degree and portfolio and not his ass.

“Pull up a seat and tell me why you show up now, out of the blue?”

Justin had forgotten for a minute why he was there, sometimes it was easy to get lost in his own head. He took a seat on a leather chair, it felt like heaven.

“I saw Blake the other day.”

“Who?”

“Blake, you know, Blake.” He had no idea what the guy’s last name was.

He looked confused before he seemed to remember. “Oh, yeah, he still comes around every so often. Mostly when he fights with his sugar daddy. What about him?”

“He said he was going to tell you where I was. I wanted to tell you myself.”

“Why would I care where you were?” He honestly looked confused.

Justin started to feel embarrassed. “You know because you used to like me…a lot.”

“Cut the shit, I get it. I was obsessed but most of that was the drugs. You have a nice ass but you’re not all that. I’ve known where you were since I got out. The little rat made sure to come and warn me off of you. I’ll tell you what I told him; I don’t want anyone that doesn’t want me.”

Justin remembered their last night together, he had a hard time believing him. “Little rat?”

“Yeah, Ethan whatever. I hurt you, I didn’t know what I was doing. Honestly, I thought you were into it. It wasn’t until he was there, hitting me and screaming that I realized you were fighting me and not playing. The drugs made everything fucked up in my head. But when I saw the bruises and the blood, I can only thank that he got there before I could have hurt you so much that you’d never recover.”

Justin was too, Dino had called him a tease. At first, the alcohol in Justin’s system made it so he didn’t register what was going on right away. By the time he did, Dino had already overpowered him and was holding him down. Then Ethan was there, like an angel to save him when the only damage was still only a bloody nose and some bruised ribs with an unhealthy dose of fear. Maybe that’s why he always gave Ethan the benefit of the doubt, he had been his savior once upon a time.

“So, you’re not going to get even with me for my testimony about the drugs?”

“We both know it could have been more charges. I just want to live my life. I have a good man, this place and I’m clean and sober. I don’t want to be that person anymore. You’re a good person, I will tell you this, I’d keep Blake out of my life. He’s bad news, Tommy won’t let him in the bar anymore since he tried to find a few customers from our clientele.”

“Customers?”

“He’s hustling, I don’t think he’s using but he’s got a sugar daddy, I don’t know why he would be hustling if he’s got a place to live and food to eat. Tommy thinks its because he likes to mess with people’s minds. I don’t know and don’t care.”

“Got it. I really like what you’ve done with this place. It’s really nice, way better than Woody’s.”

Dino laughed. “Well, you can tell your friends if you want. We’re just starting out, so we don’t have a great turn out. It’s the outside, I need to work on it. Most people see it and think it’s a bad place.”

“I’ll tell them. We might try it out. I’d love to meet this amazing Tommy.” He found it very easy to forgive Dino for what he had done. If it had gone further he knew he would never have been so forgiving.

“Like hell, that’s all I need is for him to see you and get his panties in a twist.”

“Why would he?”

“You don’t remember him, do you?”

“I don’t know a Tommy.”

Dino pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned it on. Justin watched as he looked for something on it. Finally, he found what he was looking for and showed it to Justin. It was a picture of Dino and Tommy.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, I got it.”

Justin did his best to hold the laughter off until he was outside. Poor Dino. Thomas Wendell Newton was a classmate of his. He hated Justin probably even more than Chris had. The thing about Thomas was, in the beginning he was always following Justin and Daphne around. Freshman year, he dyed his hair blond. Sophomore year, he started wearing clothes like his when they weren’t in school. He had also applied to PIFA, Justin remembered, it wasn’t that he hadn’t been good, he’s work was just lacking. He had asked Justin to help him with his portfolio, but Justin didn’t have time. He always accused Justin of not helping because he had been jealous. That had been the end of their so-called acquaintance. He had no idea Thomas even knew Dino. Well, it looked like he was happy, and Dino was happy. Knowing about Thomas though, he would just stick to Woody’s.

He had met Brian’s friends a few times, but they had been nice, he didn’t drink with them though, he had been out with Daphne.

Finally, he could breath again…again. Blake didn’t have anything on him. Dino just wanted to live his own life. Now he could just worry about the custody fight, though Tara had been quiet for a while. He wouldn’t let his guard down, she would come back, he knew it.

His phone started ringing. Unknown number.

“Hello,” he answered.

“How would you like to go out on a date?”

“Brian?”

“Yes, so how about it?”

“Where are you calling from?”

“Broke my phone. Using a prepaid one right now, my new one should be here tomorrow.”

Justin wanted to ask what happened to it but that would be rude. “A date?”

“Yep, just you, me and six kids.”

“What did you do?”

“I need reinforcements. I’m having a breakdown of authority right now. I was thinking, if we all eat dinner together, maybe you could help get them to talk. I’ve never been the touchy-feely kind of father. I feel like I’m losing them, I need to step in before I really do.”

“Alright, but you know what that means, right?”

“You wouldn’t?”

“Aye, Aye, Matey. Put on your finest attire, we’re going to The Plank.”

“Fuck.”


	15. Dinner from Hell

 

 

Brian and his boys sat silently at the table waiting for Justin, Molly and the twins. His boys were not too enthused about the trip to The Plank, neither was he to be honest. Justin had said this would be the best place to get to know his boys again, ask questions without sounding like he was interrogating them. He was a bit worried about how it would go with two small children and a teenage girl as witnesses, his kids might just shut down.

It was Thursday night, he hoped everything went well tonight because tomorrow was family dinner at Debbie’s. And no one ever wanted to ruin a family dinner at Deb’s. Just as he was about to call Justin to see where he was, the man himself walked in. Brian noticed that he was alone.

“Where are the kids?” he asked when Justin sat down beside him.

“Thought it would be better without the bigger audience, you owe my kids a night here though. They were not happy when I told them where I was going.”

“What’s he talking about audience?” Gus asked, he was openly sneering. Brian understood why Justin didn’t bring the kids now, his were hormonal teenagers, no telling what they would say or how they would act.

“I need to talk to you three and Justin is going to oversee that as an unbiased mediator.”

“Unbiased? He’s your fuckbuddy,” Gus said, his eye blazing.

“No, he’s not. And you will show him respect, even if you show me none,” Brian demanded.

Gus snorted with derision.

“Look, I’m not here to take sides. Your dad asked me to be here because he’s said he isn’t the best with emotions,” Justin said, looking sincere.

“That’s an understatement,” John said darkly.

“Alright, there are a lot of feelings going on here. Why don’t we all calmly say what’s upsetting us. Youngest to oldest. Peter, you go first,” Justin said.

“I’d like to do things more with Dad but he’s always working. We used to always go out and have fun, just the two of us once a month. We haven’t done that in like a year.”

“That’s good, Brian, how can you help fix this?” Justin asked.

“I won’t cancel planned outings in favor of Kinnetic. You’re more important than the agency.” Brian ignored Gus’ bitter snort.

“Alright, does that sound acceptable, Peter?’ Justin asked.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Peter smiled lightly. One down two to go. Their food arrived but they didn’t start eating yet.

“John, you’re next what is bothering you that needs discussing?”

“He doesn’t care, he doesn’t know anything about my life. To him and everyone else I’m just an extension to Gus, well I’m not. I’m my own person with my own problems.” Guilt ate at him; John was right to an extent. Lately because of all the problems with Gus, John had just been thrown to the side. But that was because he never really caused trouble without Gus.

“Why don’t you tell us some of your problems, maybe that will help,” Justin urged.

“Nothing can help me.”

Brian’s heart broke, never had his child sounded so broken. “I can try if you let me,” Brian said, gently.

“I’m dating someone. I can’t tell you because you’d get all judgmental.”

“That’s not true. What’s her name? Is she in your grade?” He wanted to know anything about his mysterious child.

“His name is Ozzie and he’s doesn’t go to school, he dropped out when he was sixteen.”

The table was silent, Brian sat there stunned, if he had to wager a guess on any of his children being gay it would be Peter. He noticed the expression of horror on Gus’ face and how raw John looked after coming out to them.

“I’d still like to meet him,” Brian said though his voice trembled some.

“How old is he now?” Justin asked.

Brian hadn’t paid much attention after his name is Ozzie. But yeah, he had said he quit school at sixteen. How old was this kid?

“He just turned twenty.”

“Fuck no,” Brian said, standing up, jostling the table.

“Brian, sit down, people are looking. You promised to listen to your children respectfully and you will follow through,” Justin hissed.

Looking at his children, he saw that Gus looked shell-shocked but that could be from the revelation, Peter looked embarrassed and John just looked sad. Had he sounded like his own mother? No, she just showed righteous contempt. His father, blinding hatred but was that for him being who he was or thinking another son was ‘damaged’ somehow by his mother’s drinking. There were so many questions he wanted to ask the old man, but that time was gone, just like him.

“I’m calm.” He sat, straightening the table. “I’m calm. So, he’s twenty. That’s something. What does he do for a living?”

John’s eyes got a little more hope in them. “He’s in a band.”

_Jesus fucking Christ, a fucking band._

He had been with older men a lot, but he was the father now. A twenty-year old with a fifteen-year old was sick.

“We’re not having sex. I told him I wasn’t ready. Anyway, I’ll be sixteen in two weeks, which is the age of consent. He’s so understanding and kind. I think you’d really like him.” _Doubtful._

“Has this been what’s been bothering you?” Brian asked.

John lowered his head and nodded. “It’s not all of it,” he said looking at Gus who was refusing to look at him. “But it’s the biggest thing.”

“How can your father help you?” Justin added, shocking Brian. He had forgotten Justin was there for a moment.

“I don’t know really. He never really tells us the truth about things. We don’t know how his life was really when he was young. I guess, I’m just scared that we’ll get too much for him and he’ll leave.”

“What? How could you ever think that?” Brian asked.

“You did before, you dropped us all off with the family and only called us,” John said, his voice rising. “Those months I had to live with Emmett, remember?”

Of course, he remembered, he couldn’t take care of himself, Ted did. He didn’t want anyone seeing him like that especially his kids.

“I was sick, remember?”

“Bullshit,” Gus said.

“What?”

“I said bullshit. If you were sick, we would have seen you or at least known what was wrong with you. You just didn’t fucking care. Probably off fucking some rentboy in Ibiza,” Gus snarled.

Brian was struck stupid; how could his children think he lied and just dumped them off? He had told his friends never to tell the kids how sick he was or with what. If they had heard cancer they would have been scared to death.

“All of you really think I just ditched you and wasn’t sick?” he asked, raw emotion in his voice.

Gus nodded forcefully, John nodded also and after a moment, Peter nodded.

“They need to hear the truth,” Justin said gently.

“What your butt-buddy knows but we don’t?” Gus sneered.

“Your grounded for a week longer. Now, at the time I didn’t tell you because you were all so young. I didn’t want you to worry, you hear the word cancer and you think death.”

“Cancer?” Peter asked, his face ashen.

“I’m alright now. I go in for yearly check-ups. I was going to tell you all closer to eighteen because all of you will have a higher risk because of genetics. Maybe a part of me didn’t tell you at the time because if I told you it would make it real. I didn’t want it to be real. As for you not seeing me, I didn’t want anyone to see me. If it wasn’t for Ted and Cynthia cleaning up my vomit, pushing fluids down my throat and making me eat, I don’t think I would be here…and that scares me. I always wanted you to see me as invincible but I’m not.

“I also didn’t want to parent like mine did, I had no home experience. The closest was Deb and Vic. I was beaten from the time I could walk until the day I packed my shit and left. I was sixteen and never looked back. Claire did the same, she got married as soon as possible and left. She didn’t have the grades for college, so she thought it was her only shot. One thing I promised her the day you were born John, if anything ever happened to her, you would never be raised like we were. I’ve kept that promise. Every day you get up and aren’t scared you’re making too much noise, or telling your teacher you fell off your bike when she sees the blackeye. I’m doing a lot wrong I know but you have to tell me, or I’ll never figure it out.”

The kids were silent, their food had gotten cold on their plates.

“Everyone keeps calling me a virgin, I just don’t want to be one anymore,” Gus said, his face honest.

It was such a fifteen-year-old problem. Brian looked at Justin who a second ago was close to tears. He was again but now they were mirth. Brian felt the laughter bubbling up in his chest but tapered it down, he was to help not make fun of.

“Half the kids teasing you are virgins too. There is no rush,” Brian told him.

“How old were you?” Gus asked.

 _Fuck._ “I was fourteen, but it wasn’t an experience I wish for any of you.”

“I was almost nineteen,” Justin broke in.

“What?” Gus asked.

“I was almost nineteen and it was with the man I married.”

“So, you haven’t been with anyone else?” This from John, who blushed some when Justin turned eyes on him.

“I have since that time, but I was older and finally knew what to expect. Don’t rush into sex with men or women who you don’t care about. It doesn’t solve anything and won’t stop people from teasing you. You have to be stronger on the inside than they are on the outside,” Justin said, looking at the kids. Justin was a natural father.

“Have you ever been with a girl?” Gus asked.

“Gus,” Brian admonished.

“No, it’s all right, no secrets here tonight. Yes, with my best friend. There were some things going on that I’d rather not get into for her privacy, but the answer is yes.”

“And you and mom were together, I wasn’t like some in-vitro baby, was I?”

Brian rolled his eyes. “Yes, you were conceived o’natural.” The other boys snickered.

“But did you know you were gay before having sex with a girl or what?”

Everything came to him like a lightening bolt. None of this anger was at him, it was Gus’ anger at himself.

“Is that what you are so upset about you think you’re gay?” he asked.

Gus’ face got red, but he didn’t yell or shout. “No, I don’t like guys like that. It’s just I don’t like anyone like that. Girls or boys. I thought maybe if I had sex with Molly it would make me want girls.”

Brian grabbed Justin’s knee when he felt the man tense up. He was ready to make Gus pay for hurting his little sister. “I thought you liked the hostess here?” he asked his son.

“No, I just heard she was easy,” Gus said looking down ashamed. “I don’t think like that now…not after what happened with Molly.

“You do know there isn’t just gay or straight right?” Justin said after a second. “There’s so many different types; bisexual, pansexual, bicurious, polysexual, asexual. And probably a lot more than I know about. Just because you haven’t had those feelings yet doesn’t mean you never will, and if you never do doesn’t mean somethings wrong with you. It just means you get to choose who you spend your life with if you want, you won’t be led around by little Gus. But it’s never okay to do what you did to Molly, you owe her and apology…a real one, same with your father.”

Gus nodded his head. “I’m sorry, Dad. It wasn’t because you’re gay. I just don’t feel normal, it’s like everyone else got some playbook that I didn’t get and I’m running blind.”

“Now that I know, I can help. While your sexuality is something, you’ll have to answer yourself, I can answer any questions that I can and find the answers that I can’t. I just know these last few months have been killing me with you boys so angry at me. Can we start fresh?”

“Yeah, Dad,” Gus said as the other two nodded.

“Are you really okay? What kind of cancer did you have?” John asked.

Brian groaned. “It was testicular cancer. Yes, I’m really okay. We’ll talk more some other time when I’m not all over the place.”

“Alright. Did you mean it that you want to meet my boyfriend?”

Grinding his teeth together he forced a smile. “Yes.” A wickedly, wonderfully terrible idea came to him. “In fact, invite him to Deb’s for dinner tomorrow.” He’ll have Carl scare the living shit out of the little weasel and he’ll have his hands clean…relatively.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Christ, your boyfriend is in a band. That’s so gay,” Gus said. For the first time in a long time he smiled, a real one.

“That was lame,” John said, smiling back.

He could breath, really and truly breath, his family would be okay. He noticed a smirk on Justin’s face. Before he could ask about the smirk they were surrounded.

“Arr..Happy...Happy..Birthday,” the pirate-themed servers started to sing. Now he knew why Justin was smirking. He was going to make him pay for this.  

 

 

 


	16. Family Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning attempted attack on a child mentioned. Not graphic or detailed.

Justin felt like beating his head against the wall, the account they were working on was going to be the death of him. Mykar Motors wasn’t a huge account but did hold a pricy commission. That being said, he was going to kill Oskar Makara. The man is tall and beautiful but dumber than a box of bricks. He had inherited the company from his father, who hadn’t passed on the brains. What he wanted in a print was impossible, when he went to Brian for help, all he was told was make what the client wanted. What kind of help was that? He thought they shared something last night, but this morning the man was a raging lunatic. Of course, they were all under pressure. Brian had his biggest client threatening to pull his account after his contract ran out. Brian was doing everything in his power to keep that from happening.

“Brian said you were having problems,” Ted said as he came into the Art Department. It was just Justin there, he sent everyone else out for lunch hoping the quiet would help…it didn’t.

“That’s one way to say it. Our client is a moron and I’m supposed to put his ‘vision’ on paper.”

Ted sighed and sat down in Justin seat. “What does he want?”

“Moving pictures.”

“Like movies?”

“Like Harry Potter.”

“Oh god.”

“Yeah.”

“What about 3D pictures?”

“I tried that, it’s not real, he said. He wants cars flying at each other on paper…moving. Not a trick of the eye. Really moving.”

All the sudden Ted burst out laughing, he laughed so hard he lost his breath and clutched his side. Justin just stared at him, wondering if he should call for help.

“Care to share with the class? This moron is going to get me fired.”

Ted caught his breath. “Oskar isn’t a moron. He is a good friend of one Brian Kinney though. The same Brian Kinney you had fake pirates sing happy birthday at.”

Justin couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “I was trying to lighten the mood. I told Lou at any time everyone was smiling to come over and sing. I thought it would make everyone happy. And this is what he does to me? I won’t forget this.”

“Kid listen to me. Call it a draw. Trust me, you don’t want to battle with him. He’s more ruthless than anyone you can imagine.”

“Fine, only because of the dinner tonight. The kids are excited, Molly too. Are you going to be there?” He hoped alone, leaving Blake at home.

“Yep, flying single again. Blake said I was smothering him; he’ll be back in a year or so to beg for forgiveness.”

Justin could feel his eyes twitch. “Maybe you shouldn’t be available by then. Brian told me how much you mean to him. Maybe you shouldn’t be someone’s back up plan.”

Ted snorted; it wasn’t pretty. “Justin, I don’t look like you or Brian. I’m not even young anymore either. I just want to settle down, maybe even adopt a kid.”

“Can you see doing that with Blake?” At Ted’s sullen face Justin sighed. “Maybe you have your answer.”

 

* * *

 

“Are you excited to see your nephews again?” Mary asked as they drove to Brian’s.

“Yeah, I like Peter the most the other two don’t talk much but they might be shy.”

“That’s probably it. Did you remember to bring your gift for Debbie?”

“Yes,” he said, pulling the flower out of his bag. It was the prettiest they had in their yard.

“I thought you had gotten her a box of chocolates?”

Jack looked down guiltily. “I lost ‘em.”

Mary laughed. “I believe that like I lost the rest of the cake last night.”

“I’m sorry.”

“That’s alright, you bought them with your own money. They did look good.”

“One was coconut, I spit it out.”

“Ewww. Coconut.”

He nodded. He hoped Debbie liked the flower, his stomach was in knots that people wouldn’t like him. Already Debbie and everyone he met had been really nice. He hoped his nephews grew to like him, he already liked them. Peter told him that they could play video games next time, that would be today.

 

* * *

 

“Are you nervous?” John asked, hoping this wasn’t too much too fast.

“Why would I be nervous?”

Ozzy had just picked him up from school, they were headed to Ozzy’s place for a while until dinner. He hoped everyone liked Ozzy, he was the best. Sure, he looked a little rough around the edges but that was for the band. Ozzy’s long blond hair was in dreadlocks, some people didn’t think that looked good on white guys. What did they know, Ozzy was gorgeous. The neck tattoos were something they might also have problems with, his family wasn’t big on tattoos. One was a spiderweb that circled his neck the other was his band’s name. Naked Christ. His dad wasn’t religious so he wouldn’t care, Grandma Deb and Carl were a different story, but they would see how amazing Ozzy was.

“Thanks for letting me stay at your place the other night,” he said to fill the silence of Ozzy’s car. His nose twitched at the smelled of burning oil.

“No problem, you could have slept in my bed, ya know?”

No, he really couldn’t. While sober Ozzy didn’t really push for sex, drunk Ozzy was another story. That’s why he usually went home when Ozzy started drinking. The other night he didn’t have a choice. Thankfully, Ozzy just drank himself into a stupor and fell asleep.

Now he knew Ozzy wasn’t perfect, but you had to look past the rough exterior, on the inside he was a prince. And a little part of him relished in that a bad boy kind of guy looked at him twice. He was Gus Kinney’s geek brother. Gus never was around when Tim and his lackeys were torturing him. He thought it best not to tell anyone, but he knew sooner or later they would get tired and leave him alone. That’s what his dad always said, bullies won’t really do anything. Maybe in the old days they might go after the geek or gay boy, but no way would they now. He was safe, but he probably wouldn’t be coming out to people at school anytime soon.

 

* * *

 

Brian left work early, he needed to get away before Justin caught up with him. He’d have to send Oskar a bottle of whiskey for going along with the plan. That will teach the little bastard to mess with him. First, he had to swing by and pay the caterer. After going around and round about it they agreed, she would only cook every fifth family dinner. Emmett would cook one, Michael and Ben would get one, Ted would cook one, and he would cook one. Except he didn’t cook so he had it catered. They bitched for like half a second the first time, then Ted had followed suit. No way would Michael dare to try it and Emmett loved to entertain, even if it wasn’t his house.

 

* * *

 

Justin parked on the already packed street, it looked like he was one of the last to arrive. He wouldn’t have been late if it wasn’t for Mika. His son had been acting out since they lost Ethan. He understood it because Mika was Ethan’s shadow. He always wanted to be around him, he hated that he couldn’t connect to his son like he did with his daughter. Today the tantrum was because he couldn’t wear the outfit, he had outgrown four months ago. He wouldn’t show up to a party with a child that looked like he belonged in a Dicken’s tale. So now he had a whiney son, an overly happy daughter and a stressed-out sister.

At the front door he started to feel out of place, they were invited but did they really want them there. He only met very few of Brian’s friends. How weird was it to come to your boss’s family dinner? The only thing that was a plus was that Blake wouldn’t be there.

“For the love of God,” Molly hissed before reaching over him and knocking loudly on the door. “You can be such a drama queen.”

He smiled; it was good to have his sister back in his life. She was so very much different from the little girl she had been once. Now she was almost a grown woman, he was so proud of her. After their parents abandoned her, she didn’t quit school, she slept on couches, did homework in the public library, she fought. She was going to be an amazing, successful woman one day and his parents would never get to see that. That was their loss.

The door opened and a short man with dark hair answered. “Can I help you?”

“Uh…yeah…Brian invited us,” Justin stammered.

“Oh, I recognize you, sorry it’s been a hectic for weeks. You’re Justin, I saw you at the diner, but you left before I could introduce myself.”

“Yeah, I’m Justin Taylor. This is my sister Molly and my children Nanette and Mika.”

“Great, come on in. The kids are upstairs playing video games, you can send them up if you want.”

“What kind?” He didn’t want them to watch or play violent ones.

“Minecraft.”

Justin smiled. He still didn’t know any of the kids upstairs though.

“I’ll go up with them. I need to clear the air with Gus anyway.”

He wanted to argue but she was a big girl and could run her own social life. He hadn’t told her anything more than he helped Brian with his kids. He didn’t want to betray their trust.

“Come get me if you need me,” he told them after Michael told her what room.

After a few attempts Mika went up with no problem. He looked around the living room and saw how homey it looked…at least what he could see. It was really crowded. He didn’t see Brian, but he did see Ted, he was talking to a huge man.

“Aren’t you to die for, baby.”

Justin looked over to the man coming at him with extended arms. Before he could get away, he was crushed into a hard hug. The man that had him was tall, thin and loud…in voice and clothes. Justin didn’t mind hugs but usually he knew the person. Finally, after a few testing grabs by the other man, he let him go.

“Uh. Hi,” Justin muttered.

“You are as delish as Ted said you were,” the man said.

Justin looked around and locked eyes with Ted, who just shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal.

“Em, I think you’re overwhelming him,” the huge man said.

“I was just being nice, it’s a southern thing.”

“It’s a queen thing, back away from him before he runs away.”

“You’re no fun, Drew, at least without a bed or hot tub around.”

There were several groans around the room. Justin smiled, everyone looked so comfortable around the room. He noticed Brian’s brother talking to Debbie in the kitchen, they seemed to be in their own little world, another woman was in there with them.

“Do you know everyone?” Ted asked.

“No, I don’t think so,” he answered.

“I’m Emmett Honeycutt, party planner extraordinaire. This Man-God is my hubby, Drew. He does football stuff.” There were snickers around the room.

“I’m Michael, this is my husband Ben and upstairs somewhere is our youngest son Brad,” Michael said sitting next to a smiling man on the couch. The couch was filled with Ben, Michael, Drew and Emmett.

On a recliner sat an older man. “Carl, Debbie’s husband, straight” he told Justin.

“How many times do I have to tell you, no one is going to hit on you. You’d think after all these years he’d stop thinking he was every gay man’s wet dream,” Debbie said coming into the living room. “Alright, dinner’s ready. Ben, can you set up the tables out here for the kids?”

“Sure thing, Deb.”

Ben set up two tables that had fold out benches on them. It wasn’t going to be comfortable but that’s why it was for the kids.

“Where’s Brian?” Justin finally asked, he had been wondering.

“Carl’s shed out back. He’s pissed off about something. We’re letting him cool down. Could you go get him?” Ted asked.

“Feeding the new guy to the lion I see,” Ben said with a chuckle, Justin laughed too.

“Sure, just point me in the right direction.”

He headed out to where they directed him. There was a gray and white shed, there was a light could be seen because the door was cracked open.

Tapping on the door he waited for a response but got none. Taking a chance, he opened the door and walked in. There were several power tools around, a few started projects. One caught his eye, a half-finished baby bassinet. It looked like the project had been abandoned though because it was shoved into a corner just collecting rags now. He wondered what the story behind it was but it wasn’t any of his business. Brian wasn’t hard to find; he was sitting on a bench with his head in his hands.

“What’s wrong?” Justin asked. Had the children said something to him? Had something happened at work that he didn’t know about?

“What’s the point of it all?” The question startled him.

“The point of what?”

“This. Life. Everything.”

“What brought this on?”

“I’m thirty-seven. After that talk with the kids, I realized I wasn’t being honest with myself either. I’m lonely. I had shit parents so I worried that I would do the same to them. I never wanted a partner or whatever shit you call them. But I have to admit, it’s damn lonely doing it yourself. Sex is sex. Empty. God, listen to me. I don’t know, I just feel…I don’t know.”

“Raw. How can I help you?”

Brian laughed and looked at Justin, his eyes dark with emotion. “Like the kids, right?”

“Right. So?”

“Go out with me.”

“What? We already tried that.”

“No, not really. That time I just wanted to fuck you.”

“And you don’t now?”

“That’s besides the point. Fucking hell, you are going to make me say it aren’t you? I’ve never met anyone like you. I would like to honestly see where it goes.”

Justin thought of Ethan to see how much it would hurt to be with someone else. But he didn’t feel that, somewhere along the way he started to fall for Brian. Ethan never was perfect, but Justin had loved him. He just realized, maybe he wasn’t that love of his life he always thought he was. It was clear he wasn’t Ethan’s if he still fucked around.

“Alright. But we have to tell the kids. I won’t lie to them. It’s been a while for my kids, I think it’ll be healthy to know that we don’t stop looking for happiness because someone’s gone.”

“Okay but your kids will take it better than mine.”

“You don’t give them enough credit. Come on, let’s go eat.”

After a toe-curling kiss as a promise of things to come, they headed to the house. As they neared, they could hear yelling and screaming. They both rushed to the house.

 

* * *

 

                                   **Ten minutes earlier**

“Come on, I can smell Grandma Deb’s food from here,” John said as Ozzy parked the car.

John had told his dad that they would meet him here, he knew that Ozzy was nervous. Not that he told John that, he just knew him well enough to know.

“It’s smells like garbage,” Ozzy muttered.

“Please, don’t say things like that. I want everyone to see the amazing guy you are. We already have a strike against us because of the age thing. But I think my dad is sleeping with his art director and that guy’s like over ten years younger than Dad.”

Ozzy grunted but didn’t say anything else. John opened the door, and everyone froze.

“Are we being robbed?” Ted asked. Not very funny at all.

“Where’s my dad?” he asked.

“Justin just went out to get him. Introduce us to your friend,” Uncle Mike said.

It was now or never. “This is my boyfriend, Ozzy.”

Everyone looked like he just told them he was a serial killer. He wished his dad was in here. They wouldn’t dare say anything mean to him if his dad was there.

“It’s nice to meet you Ozzy, I’m Ben.” Of course, it would be his Uncle Ben that talked, he was the peacemaker.

“What the fuck is he doing here?”

He hadn’t noticed all the kids had started coming down the stairs.

“Brad, what’s wrong?” Uncle Ben asked.

“This fucking tosser,” Brad said, pointing at Ozzy.

“Maybe it’s time to stop watching the British television,” Ted said, the joke fell flat.

“How do you know Ozzy?” Uncle Michael asked.

“He was in one of my foster homes years ago. He’s a fucking dirtbag.”

John knew Ozzy had aged out of the foster care system but didn’t know why Brad was calling him a dirtbag.

“Why are you here?” Brad demanded.

Brad was Michael and Ben’s fourteen-year-old. He’s always been quiet, mostly he talked to Peter. John had never seen him even cuss let alone lose his ever-loving mind like he was now.

“He’s my boyfriend,” John said quietly.

“Your boyfriend? You’re gay?” John didn’t know what the look that crossed over his face.

“Yes.”

“Ozzy is a bad person. Trust me on this,” he begged, tears glistening in his eyes.

“This little bitch is lyin, he wanted it,” Ozzy said.

It was all white noise to him after that, he could see that his brother Gus went after Ozzy, knocking John over. Carl and Drew were pulling them apart. But all John could do was fall back as people were pushed, people screamed but he couldn’t hear them. Brad was twelve when he ran away from his foster home and found himself on the streets. That meant Ozzy was seventeen or eighteen saying a twelve-year-old wanted it. The implications of the night made him want to throw up. How could someone who was as gentle with him as Ozzy be a rapist.

He didn’t even notice someone was pulling him outside until the door shut behind him. Turning eyes on his rescuer, he froze.

“Molly?”

“Looked like you needed a minute to yourself.”

“What have I done?”

“All you did was have bad taste in men, that’s pretty much everyone at some point. Michael and Ben were taking Brad upstairs when I pulled you out here. Give it a minute and everything will be calmer. Soon Ozzy will be coming out that door though.

“God, I don’t want to see him again.”

“Come on, we can get out of here for a while. I’ll text Justin.”

 

* * *

 

Now that the little scumbag was gone, they finally sat down to dinner. Michael had told him what Brad told him. When the boy was twelve, one night the foster parents were out. Ozzy climbed in his bed. Brad fought him off and was successful, but Ozzy said there was always tomorrow. The next day he told his foster parents but they didn’t believe him, that was when Brad ran away.

Molly had texted Justin that she was taking John out to eat and talk. It was good for him to have friends, even if it was Justin’s little sister.

Brad had calmed down but was quieter than usual. That was until he asked where John was, he seemed upset that John left.

“Brian?”

He looked up to his brother, he had been pretty quiet too since they sat down.

“Yeah.”

“Michael and Ben are married.”

“Yes. I know. Is that alright with you?”

“Yes. I like them. Carl and Debbie are married too.”

“Right.”

“Drew and Emmett are married.”

“So, what’s your point?” he asked, not liking where this was going.

“Why aren’t you married?”

“Jesus fucking Christ.” The entire table burst out laughing, except Debbie, she looked interested. “You fucking put him up to that. You’re not allowed to talk to him anymore.”

“Brian.”

“What Jack?”

“I’m an adult, I can talk to who I want. It’s rude not to answer a question.”

Shit, they had spent too much time around his brother, they were rubbing off on him.

 

 


	17. Confession

                                  **One Month Later**

“Are you going out with Brian again tonight?” Molly asked as he packed the kids a snack.

“Yeah, don’t worry I’m not going to ask you to babysit. Emmett wanted to take the kids to some early Halloween party. They are excited, mostly because he’s letting them pick out a new outfit.”

“That sounds fun, why wasn’t I invited?”

“I guess he thought you would be busy. I mean has there been a night you and John haven’t gone out?”

It was weird how the two of them clicked. It was a good thing because while Gus was trying to be accepting, he had become odd around his brother. So, he’s been hanging out with his soccer friends more often and less with John. Molly at first was trying to take John’s mind off of his brother dropping him like a hot potato. But soon they became the best of friends.

“Well, we are going out tonight but still,” she said, clicking her fingernails on the tabletop.

Justin noticed she was a bit more dressed up than she usually is. “Where are you two going?”

“You know just out,” she said waving her hand, she seemed a little cagey.

“Nothing illegal?” He made sure.

“We’re not robbing a bank if that’s your question.”

Good dodge, but that wasn’t my question, he thought. “Promise me to watch out for each other.” She nodded.

He really couldn’t stop her; she had been taking care of herself too long to pull that. Anyway, he and Daphne used to get into some trouble but nothing big. Might as well let the kids have their secrets.

The doorbell rang, it was probably Emmett to get the kids. When he opened the door, he about slammed it back in the person face. “Tara?”

He had stopped worrying about her every moment, that law finally was leaning towards his side. She hadn’t called or anything since she left. What was she doing here?

“I need to talk to you,” she said stiffly.

“One minute,” he said, shutting the door in her face. He ran into the kitchen to where Molly was still sitting. “I need you to get the kids go through the side door and take them next door to Brian’s. Call Emmett from there to get the kids.”

“What? Who’s at the door?”

“Tara.”

“The deadbeat mother?”

“Just go.” He gave her a small shove when she stood and went back to the front door. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and again was shocked by what he saw. Brian was now there, talking to Tara.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“I was just talking to Nan and Mika’s mother. She wants to take them for the week.”

“What? You can’t, you haven’t even called in months.”

“Look Justin, I didn’t want to do this but I’m taking the kids for good. We’re moving to California.”

Like hell. “The judge gave you every other week not full custody and that was the last judge. My lawyer contacted yours personally and we have the papers that you were served. You’re delusional if you think you can come here and take my kids. We saw the judge just last week. She gave me back full custody because you didn’t show and have no relationship with them. You do get one weekend a month, but when is at my discretion. I’m telling you right now you’re not selling me on it right now. I have no idea why you are pretending to want them when you never have before. You’ve never been a mean or cruel person before so tell me, why? I know you love them, but you never wanted to be a full-time or even a part-time parent. Please don’t punish them like this.”

“Gregor Michaels.”

“What does that scumbag have to do with anything?” He knew she was on the guys label now but what did his kids have to do with anything?

“Can we sit down; this is a conversation that’ll need a stiff drink with it.”

He nodded and lead her and Brian in, he hoped Molly had gotten the littles out already. They weren’t anywhere in view when they got to the kitchen. He didn’t have a lot of alcohol in the house, but he had some scotch he kept for Brian. He poured them all some, not much but just enough.

“So, what does Gregor have to do with this?”

She drank hers in a gulp, making a face. “Did you know Gregor had an insurance policy for Ethan?”

Justin shook his head. “No.”

“There had been rumors with other musicians that if a performer doesn’t live up to Gregor’s expectations, they have an accident. A few years ago, an oboist name Keya shattered her hand when a stone column fell. She wasn’t ever able to play again but Gregor had her hands insured. He got a nice payout while she barely keeps food on her table.”

“Did Ethan know about that?”

“Yeah but you don’t get anywhere without Gregor Michaels in this field, he took the risk.”

“Ethan sold out his shows though.”

“Yeah, Ethan also didn’t break his hand so bad that pins are keeping it together. Ethan was sleeping with others, I’m sorry.”

“Some guy already called me to tell me he was fucking my husband. Collier confirmed it. But this still doesn’t make sense.”

A warm hand gripped his, he smiled at Brian. He was giving him support without being intrusive. It was just what he needed. He held onto that hand for dear life. Tara eyed the hands but didn’t seem upset about it.

“Let’s just say Ethan fucked the one person he shouldn’t of…himself.” (Yeah had to do it. It was a good line had to use it. The  QAF writers were good.)

“Just spit it out, who was this guy he fucked, besides himself? Why did Gregor give a damn? I met the man, never got the gay vibe off of him so I don’t think it’s his husband or anything.”

“It was his son, wasn’t it?” Brian asked.

Tara nodded. “But that wasn’t what caused Gregor to want him gone. His son, Levi, was head over heels for Ethan. Ethan promised him the world. He was going to leave you; marry Levi and they would raise Mika together.”

“Over my dead body,” Justin snarled.

“Why only Mika?” Brian asked.

“This is only what I found out after all this, so take it with a grain of salt. I was told that he didn’t want you to be alone after it all went down. All was happy and great with them until Levi walked in on Ethan and some guy named Jeremy. Levi had severe depression, had been getting help since he was a young teen. But that night, he left the hotel room in Boston and walked into oncoming traffic. He death was brutal on everyone.”

“When did this happen?”

“Two months before Ethan died. Levi left a message on his dad’s cell phone explaining what happened and saying he was sorry. Gregor blamed himself at first for not answering the phone, but do you know who he was talking to? Ethan. He called and tried to do damage control without telling Gregor what he had done. Then the accidents started to happen.”

“Accidents?” Brian asked.

“Are you talking about being mugged and the bad wiring in the hotel room?”

“Yes. They weren’t bad luck, they were intentional. Gregor wanted him dead for what he believed was killing his only son. After the elevator claimed his life, Gregor claimed the life insurance policy he had on him. Turns out that didn’t make his life alright again, so his blame went to someone else. Someone who he now blamed for Levi’s death.”

“The driver of the car?” Justin asked.

“I think I know. It’s husband who couldn’t keep his cheating husband on a tight rein,” Brian said.

Justin laughed. “That’s absurd.” He looked at Tara and saw she wasn’t laughing. “You’re kidding me? Ethan cheats on me, lies more than tells the truth but I’m to blame for it?”

“He’s hurting, he doesn’t see reason,” Tara said with a shrug.

“But why are you helping him? I’m guessing taking the kids from me was to hurt me. But I don’t get, why you would go along.”

“Like I said, no one gets anywhere in this business without Gregor Michaels. I told him no to begin with, hell Ethan had only been dead a few days at the time. But once I turned him down, he all my shows were cancelled. When I started fighting for the kids, I got more shows. Then when I got them every other week, he signed me to his label. I guess he realized I wasn’t trying to get them from you anymore. He’s pulling me hard right now. I either get them or I breached the contract. I got the court date papers, I just thought he gave up. I was wrong.”

“Well, you’re not getting them. Now I know the truth there is no way I would let that happen. My question is, does he have an insurance policy for you?”

 

* * *

 

“Are you nervous?” Molly asked him.

“Hell, yes I’m nervous, if my dad finds out I’m dead meat. I’ve never felt so alive though.”

They were going to Babylon, he hoped they’d be able to get in. Molly had snatched two guest passes while at the diner. They were having some promotion last week. It had been Molly’s idea, a way to get over Ozzy. And he had heard his father and Uncle Mickey started going to Babylon when they were sixteen. Well, he was sixteen now. Like father like son, right?. Gus wouldn’t be caught dead here and that was a plus. His brother had started being macho to the extreme. Like gay guys couldn’t be macho, he just didn’t want to deal with him right now.

As they moved up the line, he hoped they didn’t see anyone he knew. If the bouncer recognized him from the diner, he was dead. He didn’t think he knew him so they might pass. Their fake IDs were really good too, he did them himself.

“Membership?” the mountain of a man asked.

“We have guest passes,” Molly said pulling out the passes.

“Alright, go on in.” Their eyes widened but they didn’t wait and asked questions they booked it inside. The music was so much louder inside than outside. It almost felt like it was in your head.

“Should we try and get a drink?” Molly asked.

“I think that would be asking for trouble. Neither of us look twenty-one. We shouldn’t risk it.”

“Okay, so we dance?”

He smiled at her and nodded. They found an open space and started to dance. He wasn’t great but Molly being a really good dancer made up for it. She looked gorgeous in her blue minidress. Her hair was pulled back with pins making it look like it naturally stayed out of her face. That wasn’t the truth usually her red hair was always covering her face. He went simple with his clothes, a tight white shirt and jeans that were cutting off his circulation.

“Mind if I cut in,” a voice said in his ear. He felt the a at his back, pressing himself against him.

Molly looked at him to see what he wanted her to do. They had talked about it. They even had a sign if he wanted out of the situation. But he wanted to dance, it was just dancing after all. So, he nodded to Molly and she fell back, and took a spot back near the bar to watch him.

Turning around he finally laid eyes on his dance partner. He did his best for his jaw no to drop. Tim Anderson, his bully was here pulling him across the dance floor. The other boy was a senior, tall and built. He was Mr. Popular and John’s biggest nightmare. What was going on? Was this some sort of elaborate trick. Tim stuck his tongue down John’s throat, so it probably wasn’t a trick. He started to rub against him hard and heavy.

“Let’s go to the backroom,” Tim said pulling him again.

What was the backroom? Was it a place to sit down? He hoped it was quieter because he couldn’t really hear out here if they wanted to talk.

 

* * *

 

Brian was watching the news while he wanted for John to get home. Gus got home an hour ago and Peter hadn’t gone anywhere. After all the information Justin got today, he wanted to be alone for the night. Brian understood, he would want the same.

The door opened and he breathed out a small sigh of relief. This raising teenagers sucked.

“You’re home. You just made it in time,” he said.

John jumped at his sudden voice. “Oh, yeah sorry. Night, Dad,” he said before practically running upstairs. What was that about? He thought about going up there, but he didn’t want to seem overbearing.

 

* * *

 

John rushed to his room and shut his door. He was worried his father might notice. When he saw what the backroom was, he almost went right back out. But he stayed, he wondered if Tim was his boyfriend now. He would have to ask on Monday. Molly and he talked about it on the way home. He wished they went to school together; it would make it better if he had a friend once everyone found out he was gay. At least he’d have Tim, they may have to pretend not to like each other because Tim isn’t ready, but he’ll come around. Tim didn’t say that they were together, but you can’t do what they did and not be. Tim also said that he loved him, it had to be true.  


End file.
